Fat,Skinny, Squishy or Firm: I am Enough
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
My sister is visiting. She hasn't been here for a bit so I arranged for time with my Grandkids. We stopped over at my granddaughters, who ran to meet me with delight. She proudly showed me her hairstyle (or lack thereof) and anounced that it was just like mine. She ran into my arms several times just for a Granma hug.
Later that day, my youngest grandson burst through the frontdoor ran across the house and jumped into my arms with a huge laugh as though I was his favorite person in the whole world.
My family sat and ate pizza, salad (I made) laughed, played mousetrap, uno, and talked politics. Magic.
This mornings reading talks about the addiction to fix ourselves. Always working to earn God's love, earn husband's desire, earn, ear,n earn; more and better. But this week as I am learning to unplug from the me obsession, I am seeing how I am already enough. I am already loved.
God doesn't care if I squish. God loves me absolutely. God just wants me to glow with gifts of my life.
My husband, ok he would like me to be lighter and firmer, but more than that, he wants a loving partner. Not a woman consumed with self doubt and self improvement rather than consumed by the gifts of our life.
My kid and grands, love me. They don't think about fat or firm. My grands just know that when they take a running jump into my arms, I'm strong enough to catch them.
Now there's a real reason to become more fit. They're growing and I need to be stronger to catch them.
No one being in my life really cares about my size as long as I am there/present for them.
Yesterday, my grandsons got in their electric toy car and zoomed down the bike path. My husband kept up on his bike and I tried to run beside them. I got winded.
There's the reason to get and remain fit.. not to earn a love that I've already been given.. but to be strong enough to hold, kiss, play as long as I can,