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gain a few, lose a few

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

I'm practicing living in the moment and forgiving myself. The past two or three weeks I have really been in a terrible mood (see past entries), and I worked hard to pull myself out of that funk. This morning I woke up feeling AMAZING! I woke up willingly before dawn and took care of all the annoying chores we usually leave until after dinner when we are exhausted. It sounds really dumb but that is such an accomplishment for me. I am working two jobs right now and I was really tired after my weekend of rock climbing and biking. But all of that hard work actually made me feel amazing. Hear that, future self? Hard work made me feel better than any binge on sugar / chocolate / coffee ever could.

So, here I am on my high horse and I decide to step on the scale. That's when the past three weeks came rushing back to meet me at my feet. Ah, that number. There it is. Payback for my indulgent couple of weeks was a few pounds put on.

But you know what? I really learned from the experience. I was deep in my funk when my friend convinced me to go rock climbing and it really pulled me out. What a cool lesson: if I push myself physically, I can come back from a pretty dark, depressed state of feeling bad for myself. Residual happiness from that adventure has been lingering in my dreams and in my conversations with my boyfriend, too.

Lesson learned. Thank you to my self for teaching me that and wanting me to have comfort and happiness. I forgive you for these four pounds I gained in the process and I will keep going to lose them soon enough.

Two places I have found inspiration this week: Reading a book by TV reality fitness trainer Jackie Warner (This is Why You're Fat), and watching The Dog Whisperer. Both have helped me question many of the assumptions about myself. Jackie's book is encouraging me to push myself harder. The Dog Whisperer shows me ways I can confront my fears, feel anxiety or fear or whatever it may be, and move through it. Keep moving forward. Cool stuff. There's more I can say but like I mentioned I have two jobs and I have to get going on my day!

Hope you are all well!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Yes exactly. I dream of hiring an emotional nanny to keep my inner child moving. Just do it!
    3114 days ago
    That is a great lesson! Learning how to drag yourself out of a funk is just great. I am slowly learning that running does that for me. Which is weird. I hear "runners" talk about how running makes them happy all the time. Never thought I could think like that.
    3115 days ago
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