ELFMAGE7

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relationship issue

Friday, October 08, 2010

BF might get an important job offer that would involve living in Japan for at least a year or so. He also has hinted that if given the choice, he would pick living there permanently... and there is hinting of whether we should stay together or not. He knows I'm close to my family, so doesn't think I'd really consider moving to Japan. I already considered moving for a couple of years, if the job offers goes through. Had decided that I would because it's a once in the life time opportunity for him and well worth it. But permanent needs more thought.

Losing the job sucked. Losing him would be worse. Not sure what to do right now about it all.
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  • KYRRDIS
    "He knows I'm close to my family, so doesn't think I'd really consider moving to Japan."

    I am wondering about the depth of this man's commitment. Only go to Japan if YOU want to go to Japan.
    3238 days ago
  • ELFMAGE7
    We have been together for 8 months but we don't live in the same states. The training for his new job has him working in LA for now but don't know when the new offer will happen.

    I've never been to Japan before. So, it's his dream because he goes there a few times a year already. And the job offer is definitely a once in a lifetime opportunity. I once considered going to Japan because there is a job for English speaking people, with degrees, to teach English. But aside from that I don't know. That's actually my only real issue because I've never been to Japan. I know nothing about what it's like to visit, let alone live there. Though I certainly would like to go some day. I do know I'll always have my family here in the states for the just in case. It's a tough thing to consider, for sure.
    3238 days ago
  • BIGMELITTLEME
    Japan...I think it would be a fantastic opportunity for both of you if you chose to go. It would be a world trave and cultural experience. Think through all your options. Do you have any job prospects in Japan? How hard would it be for you to get a job over there? If, God forbid, you went and then the two of you broke up would you be able to come back relatively easily. Would you have a support system? I do not know you, but I am a mother of five and one that went to the Philippines twice now on missions trips. That was scary enough since in some parts they have to travel with armed guards. I worried about her at times but I knew that she was doing what she was passionate about and I did not want to stand in her way. She is now saying that she would like to go back for an extended missions trip of a couple of years and if all goes well maybe even move there permanently. Her boyfriend/fiancee is also wanting to do missionary work overseas. So, I figure if not the Philippines it will be somewhere else. I will miss her deeply but I figure I can go see her and she can come home from time to time.

    When the kids are grown they have to be able to fly. We the parents cannot hold them back or expect them to sit by and watch us grow old. I encourage my children to spread their wings and follow their dreams. One questions...Is this his dream or yours? Would it be something that you want for you personally or would it be mostly about "not losing him?"

    This is a difficult decision especially when you love someone. Good luck with your decision and I pray you will make the best choice for you and for your BF.

    BigmeLittleme
    3239 days ago
  • MRSSIBRAT
    oh girlie this would be a really hard thing to have to decide!!! How long have you guys been togather?
    3239 days ago
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