Wednesday, October 06, 2010
... yesterday I did not follow my meal plan, had an "eating incident" at night and all my good intentions and plans to avoid it just disappeared. Interesting.
As a comfort my book "overcoming binge eating" states that binges are sort of a normal thing when you try to change and it will probably take a long time to get rid of them altogether.
What happened today was that I ate a smaller breakfast than normal, I was still full from yesterday. The rest of the day has been as planned and I have not been hungry.
I had a terrible call from my chartered accountant, she told me that I will have to pay an awful amount of money for old sins. Taxes and VAT... the amount about the same as the cash payment on my house... I cried a lot but after a while of counting and budgeting found that I can pay both the house and the debts – but then I have nothing to pay the accountant with... and no money for the new fridge I need... it was a serious setback and I have a hard time coping but maybe I´ll get through it without having to face official bankruptcy...
The next blow was that I have another seminar coming up that nobody signed up for...what IS it with people? Now it is more important than ever that I get every penny for those seminars... I have cried and despaired a while over this too, but now I have a plan B and have some hope again.
It is interesting that when all this drama starts I seem to be in no danger of eating. The craving to overeat starts when I get bored and everything seems to be working.