What led to my demise???

Saturday, October 02, 2010

What led to my demise???

In April DH accepted a new job that took us to Lake Louise. Well, near Lake Louise actually. A fine gravel pit about 5km out of town. The weather was beautiful and the scenery even better. Internet was crappy but I was determined to stick to the plan. I'm not really an animal lovin outdoor kinda girl but I headed out for my walk. The air was still brisk in the morning in the mountains but it felt sooo good. About a half mile from the trailer I was stopped by a park ranger who asked me if I had seen either a wolf or grizzly yet this morning.....WHAT???? You know they are tagged so the rangers can keep track of them??? OK, so after talking to him a bit, all the while scanning the treeline for movement, I hoofed it back to my cozy RV where I'd spend pretty well all of the next 3 months. The ranger actually said, and I quote “Don't be walking around here too much acting all delicious”......
Now, you may remember that I can't run and am thankful to be able to walk again. If some animal thinks I gonna be yummy, you know he's gonna be well fed.....I do have a dog that likes to pee outside so I do have to go out but try to stay within 100 feet of the door. Flash forward 5 or 6 days and I'm sittin at the breakfast table eating my oatmeal with prunes like a good little fat girl and looking out the window scanning the treeline. Scanning by now has become a full time job..What just happens to saunter by the window, about 10 feet away???? A GRIZZLY BEAR!!! That day when DH got home from work I made him get me a big rock, about a foot across and high. He laughed at me thinking I was gonna use it to throw at a bear, but fooled was so the dog would run out the door, pee on the rock and run right back in. Worked like a charm too!!! DHs fix for the grizzly situation was to buy me the most beautiful Electra Bike, thinking I can ride faster than I can walk. I haven't rode a bike in over 30 years so I didn't feel any safer on it. I love my bike when we aren't in the bush!!!
Told DH that I'd be fine. Did the walking DVD's till I could say every line Leslie Sasone was saying at the same time. BORING!!! That's when the “likker” comes in...(stole that word from a friend cuz I love it – thanks Jo) I told DH that it was gonna take a lot of “likker” to keep Glenda happy living in the bush. A Smirnoff Ice or 2 or 3 each evening made life much more bear-able, ha ha pun intended.

After 3 months, DH's old boss called and wanted him back, (I've always known he was a keeper) so we returned to the land of humans..Next we got sent to Edson. Don't get me wrong. Edson is a nice little town but it bloody rained all flipping summer!!! By then I had a hate on for Leslie's chipper voice so walking DVDs were out of the question. We continued to eat very healthy but supplemented my Smirnoff with Disaronno mixed with Cranberry juice. If you haven't tried it you should cuz it's so damned yummy. Oh, forgot, BAD IDEA, maybe you shouldn't try it since that's what helped pack on the pounds. So sad too since they are soo good.

Now we are in St. Paul, the weather is fantastic, I'm 15 pound heaver but back on Spark and feeling soo much better. I know I can do this!! Watch me!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Now you're in St. Paul, where they have internet, I see. YAY!!

    I can commiserate with you on how easy it is to put the weight back on. I've been struggling all year too, even thought I made some progress, but not on weight loss.

    So, does St. Paul have grizzlies that walk up to houses and RV's? And is DH happier there too?

    Y'know, I'd never thought of the rock idea. Our dog is finally learning to pee along the treeline, instead of the middle of the yard, but I wish I'd thought of that a couple years ago... trained her to pee at the rock. That idea's a keeper!

    Spark on!
    3807 days ago
  • 46SHADOW
    Love the rock idea. brilliant!
    3808 days ago
    Great story! Glad you're back!!
    3808 days ago
    Welcome back, and what a saga! You survived a great adventure.
    3809 days ago
    I too have been indulging in likker, but not because of bears - because of nursing exams!

    Your blog was highly entertaining. Gland you didn't end up as grizley lunch. :)
    3809 days ago
    Welcome back to the land of humans!!! Glad to hear your are still with us.
    3809 days ago
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