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True to myself

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Well today I have decided to be true to myself. I am going to start by saying that even though I have been tracking my nutrition and tracking my fitness, I have not been trying as hard as I can. I am making a pact with myself to try my very best every day. I f I make a bad decision it is just that, a bad decision. I will just pick myself up and keep going. This weekend I just completed W9D3. So why do I feel so bad. Well let me start by saying that over this weekend I have made more than one bad eating choices. Instead of stopping myself after the first wrong choice I figured oh well I have already blown it for today so what's the difference. I made even more bad decisions to day at a birthday party with tons of good, bad food. My stomach hurts tonight as a result.
On a positive note I did get lots of exercise this weekend. I completed my 3rd, 30 minute run. Although my pace isn't going to have me breaking any speed records I can say that I can run for 30m minutes. I am very happy to say that I had a very good run today.
I started off running a fast pace for me (4.9) and finished my run today at a pace of 4.4. Today was by far my personal best. I do however have a few complaints about this. I would love to run outside but my face gets so red that I am sure people would think that I was going to have a stroke. I sweat like a pig as well. Neither one of these I am comfortable with. I am hoping that the sweating will decrease as I get more used to running. Please someone tell me that this dream is an attainable one!!
I also face the fact that if I am seen running by the wrong person I will be in jeopardy of losing my career and everything else I have worked so hard for. You see I was injured at work almost 4 years ago. I am currently in negotiations of returning to work but on permanently modified hours and modified work. I do continue to have a tremendous amount of pain and have been disappointed to have to increase the amount of narcotics I am on, but I find running has given me the courage to push through the pain and try new things. I have a new found confidence, that everything I try I can do. It may not be right away. It may not be in the traditional way but come hell or high water, I will get it done.
So this blog started off by me expressing my want and need to be "true to myself". I think it has covered several different thoughts but the one constant is that I can do this. I am aware when I have lapses in good judgement. The big difference is that from this day forward just because I make one bad choice doesn't mean that I have a free [pass to ruin the hard work I have been doing. So in the future when I eat something that is loaded with sugar, carbs and or fat, I will not follow that up with oh well I already screwed up today I might as well eat all the bad things I can get my hands on. I am human and it is okay to make mistakes. I am, from this day forward going to learn from my mistakes. I will take with me the knowledge that I can do better.
I am not perfect! Anyone who believes that they are always right, have never taken the time to learn from their mistakes.

It's funny I do feel better and I think that I will sleep better now that I have gotten all that off my chest. I will have to blog more often.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You are awesome! I have found that recognizing what the "bad decisions" are is a huge first step towards not making them, at least not making them as often until you are not making them at all.

    My suggestion for the running outside is to try and find a running/walking trail or a high school track to run on. I started out on our high school track. I was usually the only one there, so I didn't have to worry about people watching me. If you are able to discover a place that is fairly secluded, you may not have to worry so much about who is going to see you. Just remember to always have cell phone with you when you are running outside by yourself. Safety first!! Keep up the good work!!

    2798 days ago
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