True to myself
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Well today I have decided to be true to myself. I am going to start by saying that even though I have been tracking my nutrition and tracking my fitness, I have not been trying as hard as I can. I am making a pact with myself to try my very best every day. I f I make a bad decision it is just that, a bad decision. I will just pick myself up and keep going. This weekend I just completed W9D3. So why do I feel so bad. Well let me start by saying that over this weekend I have made more than one bad eating choices. Instead of stopping myself after the first wrong choice I figured oh well I have already blown it for today so what's the difference. I made even more bad decisions to day at a birthday party with tons of good, bad food. My stomach hurts tonight as a result.
On a positive note I did get lots of exercise this weekend. I completed my 3rd, 30 minute run. Although my pace isn't going to have me breaking any speed records I can say that I can run for 30m minutes. I am very happy to say that I had a very good run today.
I started off running a fast pace for me (4.9) and finished my run today at a pace of 4.4. Today was by far my personal best. I do however have a few complaints about this. I would love to run outside but my face gets so red that I am sure people would think that I was going to have a stroke. I sweat like a pig as well. Neither one of these I am comfortable with. I am hoping that the sweating will decrease as I get more used to running. Please someone tell me that this dream is an attainable one!!
I also face the fact that if I am seen running by the wrong person I will be in jeopardy of losing my career and everything else I have worked so hard for. You see I was injured at work almost 4 years ago. I am currently in negotiations of returning to work but on permanently modified hours and modified work. I do continue to have a tremendous amount of pain and have been disappointed to have to increase the amount of narcotics I am on, but I find running has given me the courage to push through the pain and try new things. I have a new found confidence, that everything I try I can do. It may not be right away. It may not be in the traditional way but come hell or high water, I will get it done.
So this blog started off by me expressing my want and need to be "true to myself". I think it has covered several different thoughts but the one constant is that I can do this. I am aware when I have lapses in good judgement. The big difference is that from this day forward just because I make one bad choice doesn't mean that I have a free [pass to ruin the hard work I have been doing. So in the future when I eat something that is loaded with sugar, carbs and or fat, I will not follow that up with oh well I already screwed up today I might as well eat all the bad things I can get my hands on. I am human and it is okay to make mistakes. I am, from this day forward going to learn from my mistakes. I will take with me the knowledge that I can do better.
I am not perfect! Anyone who believes that they are always right, have never taken the time to learn from their mistakes.
It's funny I do feel better and I think that I will sleep better now that I have gotten all that off my chest. I will have to blog more often.