MUTANTQUEEN
1-99 SparkPoints 4
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Sabotaging Self Sabotage

Sunday, September 26, 2010

This month I've learned that weekends aren't free. I've gained and lost the same 2 lbs. for 3 weekends in a row. No more. I tightened it up this weekend, and I already like the results. I'm on track to lose 30 lbs. this week. I almost can't believe it. I said ALMOST. I think it took all the back and forth this month to get me to the point where I was really ready for the 30 lb. mark. I'm not letting anything get in the way of me and that goal. I believe I can reach it by Thursday -- the end of September. If not, then by Saturday, definitely.

My goal is to get to the point where I accept advancement and change gracefully. I don't want to have to claw my way into progress. It's almost like I set myself up for a struggle. I could have hit 30 lbs. 10 days ago, but I stymied my own success by getting sloppy on the weekends. I knew better, but I did it anyway. I have to believe that's my own little way of sabotaging my progress. So now crossing the 30 lb. mark FEELS like hard work. I really want to get to the point where I'm okay with the weight loss being an 'easy' thing. Ease is something I don't quite know how to relate to -- in any area. I find myself sabotaging my own progress in other areas of my life as well. That's something to work on in the month of October. I'm going to become more at ease with 'ease'.
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