My daughter told me I wasn't a fat child

Saturday, September 25, 2010

All my life my overweight father told me I was fat and overweight and had me on some kind of diet or other - but, I had to eat everything on my plate!
The most humilating thing that I had to do was to weigh in front of him every week. I remember myself being huge.
Funny thing is, I'm working on my family tree and my daughter was looking at old pictures of me when I was growing up. She asked me where the pictures of me being fat were. I told her they were in the album and she said the only pictures of me that were in there I might have been 10 or 15 lbs overweight but not more. I looked and she was right. After thinking about it, the biggest size I ever wore when growing up was a size 15.
I was stunned and angry. I didn't even look bad in my clothes and all this time I had this horrible image of me being this huge gross overweight child that has carried me into adulthood and I still have trouble leaving food on my plate - so much guilt from growing up.
This same daughter is overweight. She had a rough marriage, which she is finally free of, but it left a lot of emotional scars and she ate for various reasons. A doctor friend of hers told her that it's time to lose the weight, that the weight she has put on is from her marriage and it's over and it's time to move on.
My dad is always telling me I need to do something about her weight. Please, she's 32-years-old! It's my "responsibility" as her mother to make her lose weight. I told him I refuse to do to her what he did to me. I blame alot of my weight issues on him and am working hard to overcome them but she knows she needs to lose weight and doesn't need me to remind her.
I just wish parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, whoever, would realize the damage they can do by saying something negative.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    My suggestion goes along with what you already said. Don't tell your daughter she is fat... Love her the way she is. YOU cannot change her, or force feed her, or make her desire to do what you want her to do.

    When your daughter is ready she will find what she needs to lose the weight. If it's your help, she will ask. It might be as simple as books from the library or book store, but if it's not HER way, it's not going to last.

    I couldn't lose weight for my mother, father, grandparents, husband... but I've lost weight finally for me... and I love the new me, even though I'm not done yet!

    The "new" me is now the size I was in High School, when Mother began telling me I was fat, then offered dessert!

    emoticon Gale
    2798 days ago
    It's not always saying something negative. Plenty of folks do it by stressing 'thin' in conversations or photos. Or saying "finish your food" when it contains something you've grown to hate. emoticon
    2798 days ago
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