a mask of happiness

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I am a 39 year old single mother of three children. A son who is 17 and twins that are 13, boy and girl. I have always been heavy and have gone on all kinds of diets and my weight has gone up and down over the years. I dont want my children to be ashamed of me. I dont want them to be teased because i am not the perfect looking mom..... I try not to think about it but it never goes away... and I am very busy as I work two jobs and am working on finishing my Degree in Psychology. I try to stay upbeat and for the most part when I am in front of other people they dont even know how unhappy I am. I am disgusted about how I look and I feel very ugly. I am hoping that this program will help me to become healthy. I dont want to be like this all the time and sometimes I really can feel depression creeping up on me. I know what its like to feel that way and I dont want to fall into that dark hole again. I have been trying so hard to loose the weight and trying to do it in a positive way. I just dont see the results... I dont see the weight loss.. yes, I see the clothes being loose but it doesnt feel good enough.. I dont know how to get out of the mindset.. I am trying to change.... and I just hope it comes soon.....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • WILSLM70
    Even if you can't see the weight loss, congratulate yourself on the fact that your clothes are loose. Look in the mirror each day and say something positive about yourself and you will start to feel it. keep putting on foot in front of the other and you will achieve your goals. Keep up the great work. emoticon
    3777 days ago
  • DORYH20
    My adopted mantra helped with the mindset issue. Maybe it can help you too.
    I start everyday with those words.

    And a big emoticon on your emoticon blog!
    3777 days ago
    Sending all kinds of positive vibes your way!

    After reading your thoughtful and thoroughly honest words, I think it just goes to show why you are someone who is truly capable of not only inspiring positive change within yourself, but someone who can inspire her children to find inspiration within their own lives.

    I know that things can get pretty dark sometimes, but always remember that there are people here and in your life that are here for you. You're lucky to have a family that can support you in your life's ambitions, and they are most certainly lucky to have you!
    3777 days ago
    It will, we all go through doubts and frustrations. Remember when those things creep into your mind- the reasons why your are doing this. emoticon
    3777 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/22/2010 5:58:17 PM
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