The reflection in the mirror

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

As some of you know, I'm in the process of a divorce. In fact, it may be finalized in a week.

During my marriage, I became someone I didn't recognize. My husband was so insistent in his opinions and preferences that mine seemed to fade into the background. I'm being diplomatic actually; the man ruled our house like a dictator. I was aware that I was stress eating, but I kept blaming it on my job. I didn't feel like myself. I didn't look like myself.

I don't think I realized how stressed I was at home until my husband moved out. Suddenly, I was the one making choices. And my choices were healthier--go to the gym right after work, eat a sensible dinner, don't bring home junk food from the grocery store, walk during a work break. All of a sudden, the weight started coming off. I'd catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror, and I'd think, "Hey, I remember you...." I'm noticing that my dimples are becoming more pronounced, my collarbones are becoming more distinct, and my eyes are shining. I'm starting to recognize the girl in the mirror. I missed her. She was fun. And regardless of what my ex says, she's perfect just the way she is.
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    How I can relate to what you are saying! I remember after my separation standing at my couch in my living room at 10 o'clock at night folding laundry, and thinking "I am free!" If I had done that with the husband around, he would have criticized me for not managing my time well, or terrorized me in some other way. I lived so as not to make any waves in his routine or his mood for years...and all of a sudden, I was free to make decisions for ME. I've now been divorced for four years, and I continue to relish in the joy of the freedom! So, I feel ya...keep on keepin on! Congratulations on your freedom! You have no where to go but UP from now on!! Peace be with you...
    3435 days ago
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    Congratulations on finding yourself again!

    3446 days ago
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