wow..it's been way too long!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

ok, 2 months worth of updates.. this is either gonna be really long or short..it depends on how wordy i'm feeling tonight lol!

ok, so the last 2 months have brought about many many changes. some were good, and some weren't but that is life. I have been living without my little minions at my side since the end of july. there has been positives and negatives to this. the positives, i've been able to go out, do more things than if when they are here, less money is going out on food..quiet house lol. the negatives..i miss them. i get to skype with them a couple times a day usually. but it doesn't replace the hugs and kisses and i love you's and bed time tuck in's and the noise that comes with children. Thankfully though, my time without them is almost over. I am moving. where? back in with my parents. the bank has started foreclosure process on the house.. it's what happens when there's no money coming in and all you get is unemployment, and that's not enough to pay the mortgage and the bills. so you're left choosing what can be paid and still have food or clothes or even gas to take the kids to their appointments. it was a losing battle that i saw coming on really fast as far back as march of this year.
After much stress and fighting and talking, i am separating from my husband. it's all i can do for now, until a legal residence has been re-established in the state where i'm moving. who knows, maybe in the 6 months time it takes, things may change..but maybe not. but i'm doing this for me. i need to find me..that happy person i lost years ago. i've learned to be more assertive where my needs are concerned. i've started to be more upfront about things like i was once upon a time. I've even contacted old friends whom i've missed dearly. do i believe that 6 months time will heal my soul.. absolutely not. but it's a great start.
I have been searching out housing and jobs in NH. just sporadically, though. As i was trying to get a feel for the job market. it seems to be moving again..albeit very slowly. not much out there that i'm qualified for. i think that i've also decided that i do want to go back to school, but i'm going to go for something in the beauty industry. just go a head and see what it'd cost to get my nail tech license. put my perfectionism and art to use! LMAO!

In other news..my weight.. well we'll not go there. i'm at a stand still, haven't really gained much, but haven't lost much either. haven't really tried..too much other stuff going on ya know?

Fun News! This weekend i'm FINALLY going to take a motorcycle riders course and get my license! after nearly 10 years of waiting it's finally going to happen! i'm soo excited! Thanks to my *sister* Dori. we've been through so much together this last year. how can we not be sisters in every sense of the word but blood? we've had a 'spat' or two, but we've really been there for each other through the worst of times, and finally she's coming out on top slowly..which is a huge accomplishment! and well me..it's my turn to go under so to speak. it didn't help that all of this month practically was mercury retrograde. that really threw me for a loop let me tell ya. if you don't know what that is.. "google" it. once you do, and start looking back at patterns of your life you'll find that at some points where you may have thought Murphy's Law was your life, 10fold..i guarantee you that Mercury was retrograde.

well now, it would appear that this has turned out to be a novel. i said i wasn't sure which way this was going to go lol! but that's ok..
i'm going to scoot..i've still got some packing to do before i leave NC ..not for good, but for a long time.

have a great week..tomorrow..i'm getting my hair cut and colored! changing it up again! about time! it's been almost a year with the same style.. lol!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    While difficult, I look forward to the day that you feel the restoration of your soul that you deserve. May you be reunited with your children soon.

    Let us know what we can do to help.
    3700 days ago
    Sorry you have so much going on.hoping you are able to be with your kids again soon,that must be hard.glad you are getting your motorcycle license. big hugs to you. emoticon emoticon
    3705 days ago
    Thanks for sharing! I've gone through some of this too and am still struggling with a few things. The economy is not kind. I even had to see my doctor and a psyc doc to help me with my depression. A person can only take so much negative before they need some help. Thankfully spark has helped me too. Nothing like a little exercise to take me away from my problems.

    Anyhow, enough about me, you are doing great, great, great! To maintain while going through all of that is amazing! It shows you are still pointing in the direction you want to go. To that, I congratulate you!

    I'm also looking forward to having a fellow spark friend up in New England. It will be nice enjoying this beautiful Fall weather.

    Good luck on your move and getting things pieced together.

    Happy Sparking!
    3713 days ago
    It's great to hear from you again in a blog!!! So many changes a foot in your neck of the wood. Just keep focusing on you and let things fall into place. Eventually balance and harmony will find you.
    3716 days ago
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