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Putting a positive spin on a negative feeling.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

I am feeling very disappointed right now so I'm coming here to share it so I don't wear it. It is now 10 days until my 60th birthday and I will not be at my goal as I thought I would. BUT, I am 6 days back on track with my food and going strong.

About 5 yr. ago I lost over 100 lb. on GS (GS = Greysheet, a 12 step program of recovery, is their website if anyone is interested in looking it up) and maintained the loss for several years. Since going off GS, I have gained about 30 lb. and have struggled to get back to goal.

For a long time when I reached goal I had ONE SIZE of clothing in my closet (just one of the many benefits of GS). In the past few years I have accumulated about 5 sizes of clothing in my closet and now NOTHING else will fit on the rack. So, yesterday I decided to go through the closet and get rid of clothes I'll never wear and also take out the clothes that don't fit that I want to get back into and pack them away. This was a badly needed reality check. It was very sad to look at some of the clothes and be shocked that I even fit into them. They look like child- size clothing yet yes indeed I did fit into them. I went from a size 20-22 to a size 4-6 and am now a size 12. No, it's not awful and I'm grateful that I have not regained all my weight but I was truly shocked when I held up some of the clothing and thought "I got into THAT?".

So, the positive spin is that I KNOW that GS works. I KNOW that I will get back into those clothes. I will be able to go into my closet and wear the clothes that are there. I will have a clean closet sometime soon. I will be thankful that I have not regained all my weight. I will be thankful that I have a solution to this problem. And more than anything else I KNOW that I will reap so many more benefits from GS than the weight loss;)

Today I will finish cleaning my closet and right now I can actually walk in and see some space between the hangers. I kept the size 10's because I know that they are borderline fitting right now and will fit soon. I took all the 4's, 6's and 8's and packed them in a storage bin but they will be accessible as I WILL be getting back into these soon.

I am so grateful today to be living in a solution.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I put on 140 lbs in a 2 years span after been "clean and sober" on greysheet for 5 years. I have lose 30 of it but still struggle with the obsessions. I need to get back to greysheet but am fighting it like a rabid dog. Your post is inspirational even though you feel like you are disappointed in yourself. So thank you. And I have 8 sizes of clothes in my closet. I keep hoping I can throw away the current one but it hasn't happened yet. Even with 30 lbs gone!
    3658 days ago
    Thanks guys for the encouragement!

    Brendie, if you go to you will find the locations for face to face meting and there is a schedule for phone meetings. HTH.
    3827 days ago
  • no profile photo BRENDIE33
    You will be an inspiration to many----I am interested in greysheet also----live in so. California--is there a group near the San Fernando?
    3827 days ago
    I hear ya. I've been going through my closet also. I haven't packed away the smaller sizes though...just getting rid of the clothes I'll never wear again...maybe I should do that.

    emoticon emoticon
    3827 days ago
  • NANCY-
    You are amazing. Even though you are disappointed... you are forging ahead with a plan. You will achieve whatever you set out to do,
    3827 days ago
    I have an array of sizes in my closet as well. It's time for a cleanup for me too! Best wishes on your journey!
    3827 days ago
    3827 days ago
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