Friday, September 03, 2010
The past year has bee a very bumpy road for me - not living with my child gives a lot of pain and shame. It is better now but I still get really strong impulses to commit suicide because I can´t see any solution ahead and time goes by. It is a lot better because I have asked for help and gotten it.
Anyway, yesterday I had one of those really strong impulses, the first in a very long time. So I grabbed the phone and called an OA-friend. This woman has been abstinent for eight years and lives down south in Sweden, I have only met her in phone meetings and through OA-calls.
She sounded sad - she has a grown-up daughter who had a brain tumour removed a week ago - they had the pathology answers and the tumour was malign.
This put things in perspective for me. It is still a disaster not to have my daughter with me but she is alive and well as am I, there is hope and I can live one day at the time.