RIGGSRN

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Ditch

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

I ran off of the road into a ditch. The ditch was full of McDonald's french fries, Fountain Coke, pizza, cookies, chips, and everything else to throw a person into cardiac distress.

During the beginning of the month, I was determined and feeling great. I had my first mini goal to look forward to achieving of 25 pounds lost on August 15th. I had only 5 pounds left to lose.

August 4th was a really bad day, emotionally. I had a gyno appointment, non-routine, because of all the abnormal heavy bleeding I have been experiencing. My hormones were evaluated through lab work and other than some extremely highs and lows of certain hormones, no diagnoses was made. I started taking a simple birth control pill to cease the hemorrhaging and hopefully correct the hormone imbalance. I was told that there is a great possibility I may be in need of a partial hysterectomy in the near future. I am awaiting an appointment for a uterine biopsy, well actually I am afraid to even make the appointment. I tell myself and others all the time that I am done having children, that I am completely happy with my small family and two daughters. I want the ability to carry a child, I want the option if the timing is ever "right". The truth is, I really do want another child. Not today, but someday.

Over the last few weeks, I have been thinking about my Dad a lot. He passed away just 3 months ago of a terminal illness. My Mom and sister were not able to take care of him, and I was with him 24/7 for the last few weeks of his life. I miss him, and not a day goes by I don't think about him and all the suffering he lived with. I constantly think about his perseverance through the hard times, the pain and misery. If he lived 49 years in the shape he was in, why do I give up so easily?

So I have been avoiding the scale. I haven't weight since the beginning of August. I am going to start fresh tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day, and there ARE reasons to get out of bed and enjoy life.

Goals for tomorrow:

1.) Weigh In #1
2.) Walk
3.) Consume 1500-1800 calories
4.) Food Journal
5.) Drink 10 glasses of water
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • NICHOLEGAERTNER
    I'm sorry to hear that! I just recently stopped breast feeding my one year old and my hormones are completely off the radar. I understand that struggle. I hope that everything smoothes itself out for you.

    This entire week I've been justifying my chocolate binging with the excuse that it's okay because of the hormones. I really like your goals. It helps me put everything back into perspective in my life.

    Good luck!
    ps. I keep a blog- and my last posting is very similar to this. If you're interested it's: www.hardworkmakeshealthy.blogspot.c
    om
    3359 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/1/2010 2:06:11 AM
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