Wednesday, September 01, 2010
I ran off of the road into a ditch. The ditch was full of McDonald's french fries, Fountain Coke, pizza, cookies, chips, and everything else to throw a person into cardiac distress.
During the beginning of the month, I was determined and feeling great. I had my first mini goal to look forward to achieving of 25 pounds lost on August 15th. I had only 5 pounds left to lose.
August 4th was a really bad day, emotionally. I had a gyno appointment, non-routine, because of all the abnormal heavy bleeding I have been experiencing. My hormones were evaluated through lab work and other than some extremely highs and lows of certain hormones, no diagnoses was made. I started taking a simple birth control pill to cease the hemorrhaging and hopefully correct the hormone imbalance. I was told that there is a great possibility I may be in need of a partial hysterectomy in the near future. I am awaiting an appointment for a uterine biopsy, well actually I am afraid to even make the appointment. I tell myself and others all the time that I am done having children, that I am completely happy with my small family and two daughters. I want the ability to carry a child, I want the option if the timing is ever "right". The truth is, I really do want another child. Not today, but someday.
Over the last few weeks, I have been thinking about my Dad a lot. He passed away just 3 months ago of a terminal illness. My Mom and sister were not able to take care of him, and I was with him 24/7 for the last few weeks of his life. I miss him, and not a day goes by I don't think about him and all the suffering he lived with. I constantly think about his perseverance through the hard times, the pain and misery. If he lived 49 years in the shape he was in, why do I give up so easily?
So I have been avoiding the scale. I haven't weight since the beginning of August. I am going to start fresh tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day, and there ARE reasons to get out of bed and enjoy life.
Goals for tomorrow:
1.) Weigh In #1
3.) Consume 1500-1800 calories
4.) Food Journal
5.) Drink 10 glasses of water