Behind the Scenes

I want this blog to be an honest, full accounting of my journey. For that to happen, I need to talk about more than food, exercise, and pounds. Its time to share some things going on behind the scenes.

This has been a really hard year.

I lost my best friend of 15 years to differences between us that are irreparable. I lost a baby to miscarriage for the third time. I found out my oldest daughter who is disabled, is only going to get worse over time. We foreclosed on our house. My husband is not going to have a job in a few months when his contract ends, and I have no idea whatsoever what we are going to do.

With all of this going through my head, and the fact that I'm an emotional eater, its no wonder that I had gained 10 lbs over the past few months. 10 lbs. That's twice what I've worked so hard to lose so far. I'm trying not to think about that.

The whole reason I'm bringing all this up is that I am noticing a change in me that I'm nervous about. I'm forgetting things in lieu of just "coping." I haven't called to refill our prescriptions or make more appointments, when I need to do that. I haven't been as prepared as I should be with paperwork we need to file. My house isn't as organized, clean, or decluttered as I usually keep it, and that is my THING. I run a homemaking message board and blog and have had to stop blogging and don't spend nearly as much time as I should with my community. I haven't been myself.

I know its "normal" to have these coping mechanisms when going through so many changes, especially so many difficult ones. BUT - in my life, I don't have time for that. I need to function - my family needs me to function.

Making a conscious change like this diet has forced me to pay more attention to my life in general. I think that's why I'm noticing how slack I have become in so many areas of my life.

If this is truly a lifestyle change, I suppose that means that many parts of my life should become healthier. I have put some of the things I have been slacking on, on my calender and to-do list, so that I can make sure I give them the proper attention. I'm hoping that with all these changes both diet and life wise, I will be getting back into healthier habits all around.