During a Crisis
Monday, August 23, 2010
I've been doing vlogs, but today, I'm going to write because I am just drained. I think the hardest times for us to stay on the program are during crises. I've vlogged a bit how my life has fallen apart over the last few years, though I haven't gone into detail. Things were finally looking up. But this morning, I received a phone call that my 21 year brother tried to commit suicide and was in the ICU. He's probably going to be okay, otherwise I wouldn't be posting, but it's been a day of worry and hoping he'll be okay, and we don't know for sure yet. My family is one of the fortunate ones: he didn't die, and not every family is so lucky. But on days like today, it's very hard. I managed to keep it together for lunch, but I fell completely apart at dinner time. It's understandable, I think, but it's also hard because I've worked so hard and I'm tired of failing. For me, that adds to the stress. Tomorrow will be another day at the hospital, and I am determined to do better. Things can be crazy, and I may eat out 3x per day, but I can still do so in a healthy way. Then, I can be healthy enough to focus on being there for my family who needs me.