Success is unavoidable...
Sunday, August 22, 2010
So I´m reading one of coach Deans articles on how to stop negative thinking and I quote:
"If you think you’re "doomed to be fat forever," tell yourself that success is unavoidable if you want it; if you’re feeling like a "lazy slug," tell yourself that your “true self” really does want to exercise. You get the idea.
No matter how big, bad or scary the problem seems, you're always just one thought away from turning it into an opportunity for change, growth and progress. All you have to do is find that thought. "
This I do believe in but I find it hard to do. I tend o let mistakes fill my sky and give me the excuse to continue doing the wrong things. Every once in a while I make a really HUGE effort and get everything together: My bills ar paid, my house is clean, my work is done and delivered, I have done my exercise and my food plan is excellent and working. And I feel so relieved for being in that place and think "I love this and NEVER AGAIN will I allow myself to create that mess that makes me feel som bad."
Then I slip with something. And I keep my chin up and think"Well, a slip is nothing, jus get right back on track and keep on doing all the things you can do, you are SO worth it."
Then another slip. harder but still - I tell myself that I KNOW that slips ar inevitable and does not meen a thing as long as I get back on the wagon again and keep on trying.
Yet another slip, another and another.... and then I have fallen and depression, shame and guilt is overwhelming.
What if I accept the failure and stop trying... not an option because if I let myself go I will be dead in a couple of years.
I have ten years left before I have outlived my both parents. Not very likely that I will do that if I don´t succeed in losing weight.
From every guru and life coach I have heard as well as the solution focus people I have gotten some priciples that seems smart:
1. Start small
2. Build consistancy.
3. Look at what works and build on that.
Here´s a confession - I am not very good at starting small. I love big dramatic gestures and all-or-nothing. And how is that working for me? Ehem... not so good. So how about starting small then? Too boring, too resultless... that is a sick brain talking there. OK, I did start small some times but mostly tired before it gave any result. Which leads me to number two that I see as almost impossible - I am very good at starting things, not so good at maintainance. When I found Flylady I was happy to start cleaning my sink every evening and be satisfied with just that. It really worked for me until I moved and I still have her "swish-and-swipe"-routine for the bathroome every morning. And many of her advices still brightens my day since they were really suited for my temperament and attitude towards life.
Number hree - what works?
As I mentioned the "swish-and-swipe"-bathroom routine has worked since I moved in this house.
-I do cycle about two hours at least per week and have been doing so since spring.
- I do meditate at least one time a week.
- My breakfast is good as long as I don´t try to make it "healthier" or listen to the GI-people - wholewheat-bread with smoked salmon, ham or cheese has made me feel good until lunch for a least ten years, its about 350 cal and I feel fine. Apart from the time that I read that I need to eat more vegetables or fruit or stay away from anything with white flour or sugar (my homemade bread is baked with wheat-, rye- and wholewheat flour, apricot, raisins, pumpkin- sunflower- and linseed and hazelnuts and the fluid is sour milk and some baking syrup) I have no reason at all to change it apart from my "extreme" thinking that thinks its not good enough. But it works for me which the healthier alternatives have not done.
- At work I fill my pitcher with water every morning and drink it during the day. It is becoming a habit that I don´t have to use much energy on.
- I have been going to AA meetings for five years and although I don´t go on the same meetings all the time it is very rare with a week without a meeting and mostly it is 1-3 meetings a week.
- I never forget or mess up any duty concerning my daughter.
Where can I go from there.... my breakfast works because I don´t have to think about it, it´s simple, baking the bread takes approximately one hour per month, I really like it and it is not expensive. I need to make the rest of my mealplan as simple, attractive and priceworthy.
My biking is part of my transport to work, It is simple, enjoyable and saves money. My feet are too bad to allow we to walk, I have to limit myself to cycling or swimming and as long as it is autumn I will be satisfied with the amount of exercise I do for now. It is good enough.
The house is clean enough - as my housemate comes home every weekend that is motivational enough to make me vacuum and organize. I am becoming very good in not collecting new things to clutter up my life.
As I am writing I have to push away all the thoughts of the things that is NOT working - yet.
For today, I am very content with the things I have achieved (underneath my subconcious screams "LIAR!" but I try not to listen). Success IS unavoidable!