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Success is unavoidable...

Sunday, August 22, 2010

So I´m reading one of coach Deans articles on how to stop negative thinking and I quote:

"If you think you’re "doomed to be fat forever," tell yourself that success is unavoidable if you want it; if you’re feeling like a "lazy slug," tell yourself that your “true self” really does want to exercise. You get the idea.

No matter how big, bad or scary the problem seems, you're always just one thought away from turning it into an opportunity for change, growth and progress. All you have to do is find that thought. "

This I do believe in but I find it hard to do. I tend o let mistakes fill my sky and give me the excuse to continue doing the wrong things. Every once in a while I make a really HUGE effort and get everything together: My bills ar paid, my house is clean, my work is done and delivered, I have done my exercise and my food plan is excellent and working. And I feel so relieved for being in that place and think "I love this and NEVER AGAIN will I allow myself to create that mess that makes me feel som bad."

Then I slip with something. And I keep my chin up and think"Well, a slip is nothing, jus get right back on track and keep on doing all the things you can do, you are SO worth it."

Then another slip. harder but still - I tell myself that I KNOW that slips ar inevitable and does not meen a thing as long as I get back on the wagon again and keep on trying.

Yet another slip, another and another.... and then I have fallen and depression, shame and guilt is overwhelming.

What if I accept the failure and stop trying... not an option because if I let myself go I will be dead in a couple of years.

I have ten years left before I have outlived my both parents. Not very likely that I will do that if I don´t succeed in losing weight.

From every guru and life coach I have heard as well as the solution focus people I have gotten some priciples that seems smart:
1. Start small
2. Build consistancy.
3. Look at what works and build on that.

Here´s a confession - I am not very good at starting small. I love big dramatic gestures and all-or-nothing. And how is that working for me? Ehem... not so good. So how about starting small then? Too boring, too resultless... that is a sick brain talking there. OK, I did start small some times but mostly tired before it gave any result. Which leads me to number two that I see as almost impossible - I am very good at starting things, not so good at maintainance. When I found Flylady I was happy to start cleaning my sink every evening and be satisfied with just that. It really worked for me until I moved and I still have her "swish-and-swipe"-routine for the bathroome every morning. And many of her advices still brightens my day since they were really suited for my temperament and attitude towards life.

Number hree - what works?
As I mentioned the "swish-and-swipe"-bathroom routine has worked since I moved in this house.
-I do cycle about two hours at least per week and have been doing so since spring.
- I do meditate at least one time a week.
- My breakfast is good as long as I don´t try to make it "healthier" or listen to the GI-people - wholewheat-bread with smoked salmon, ham or cheese has made me feel good until lunch for a least ten years, its about 350 cal and I feel fine. Apart from the time that I read that I need to eat more vegetables or fruit or stay away from anything with white flour or sugar (my homemade bread is baked with wheat-, rye- and wholewheat flour, apricot, raisins, pumpkin- sunflower- and linseed and hazelnuts and the fluid is sour milk and some baking syrup) I have no reason at all to change it apart from my "extreme" thinking that thinks its not good enough. But it works for me which the healthier alternatives have not done.
- At work I fill my pitcher with water every morning and drink it during the day. It is becoming a habit that I don´t have to use much energy on.
- I have been going to AA meetings for five years and although I don´t go on the same meetings all the time it is very rare with a week without a meeting and mostly it is 1-3 meetings a week.
- I never forget or mess up any duty concerning my daughter.

Where can I go from there.... my breakfast works because I don´t have to think about it, it´s simple, baking the bread takes approximately one hour per month, I really like it and it is not expensive. I need to make the rest of my mealplan as simple, attractive and priceworthy.
My biking is part of my transport to work, It is simple, enjoyable and saves money. My feet are too bad to allow we to walk, I have to limit myself to cycling or swimming and as long as it is autumn I will be satisfied with the amount of exercise I do for now. It is good enough.
The house is clean enough - as my housemate comes home every weekend that is motivational enough to make me vacuum and organize. I am becoming very good in not collecting new things to clutter up my life.

As I am writing I have to push away all the thoughts of the things that is NOT working - yet.

For today, I am very content with the things I have achieved (underneath my subconcious screams "LIAR!" but I try not to listen). Success IS unavoidable!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm putting that on my desk to remind me "success is unavoidable"
    3399 days ago
    Wow!!!! You are doing amazing! You say you're not good at small steps....yet, here you are swooshing your sink every morning, consistently going to AA, you have a meditation practice, you've reduced clutter, you are cycling, eating a healthy breakfast AND you make home-made bread (double wow!) You are not a liar....look at all you've done - you are an inspiration!

    It would be so nice I know if we could just go big and accomplish it all at once - but I suppose that simply doesn't work in the long run....I wrote a blog about might like it.

    3400 days ago
    Hi friend!

    This sentence stuck out: "I love this and NEVER AGAIN will I allow myself to create that mess that makes me feel so bad."

    Never is a long time. What if you let go of "never again" and started on "just for today"?
    3400 days ago
    Keep up the good work!! Baby steps and one day at a time!
    3401 days ago
    I'm "all or nothing" also, and it keeps success out of my reach, and causes me all kinds of frustration. If even I kept a middle road of 'not so good' I'd be doing better than the "off and on".

    3401 days ago
    You and I are similar - I also prefer a big splashy start but then tend to fade out if something is AT ALL complicated (different foods on different days, different exercises on different days). As you say, "not so good at maintenance." Like you, I've found that doing the same thing every day - consistency - is what makes my life work. In fact, I blogged about this very thing today, myself! (Something in the stars?) Thanks for posting.
    3401 days ago
    Sounds like you have a lot of good things going on!!
    3401 days ago
    You and I are similar - I also prefer a big splashy start but then tend to fade out if something is AT ALL complicated (different foods on different days, different exercises on different days). As you say, "not so good at maintenance." Like you, I've found that doing the same thing every day - consistency - is what makes my life work. In fact, I blogged about this very thing today, myself! (Something in the stars?) Thanks for posting.
    3401 days ago
    Life is certainly a struggle and it is one daily. Like the song says," If you hit rock bottom you've got two ways to go. Straight up or sideways" I want to go straight up!!! I will see you at the TOP!! emoticon
    3401 days ago
    I've just read your wonderful blog and I am completely over-awed at what you've achieved. You inspire me with your blogs, you are honest in what you write, whether its about something you've done well, or something you feel you could have done better. Don't make the mistake of thinking you're the only one who feels the way you do, cos I think most of us feel that way at times, some of us quite often. Being a part of Spark People doesn't depend on doing everything perfectly, because if we were so good as that we wouldn't have gained weight in the first place. We're all here because we're not perfect, because we eat the wrong things at times, because we don't exercise enough, because we put things off till tomorrow before doing something about them, and tomorrow never comes...

    You are doing the right thing in continuing to enjoy your bread with whatever you choose to top it with. You have baked that bread yourself and you know exactly what's in it. Its all good, healthy stuff, and its become a habit to have the same breakfast each day. That's a great step forward in itself! I battled endlessly with my breakfast menu, trying to get enough of everything into that one meal. I failed dismally and just returned to alternating between my two long time favorite breakfasts - porridge with ginger and cinnamon, and either sultanas, a chopped up apple or orange or maybe some almonds added to it, with skim milk. The other favorite is natural muesli containing plenty of dried fruits and nuts combined with some low fat yoghurt. If I stick to either of those two meals I'm fine. Same with lunch - thin rice cakes with either cheese and chutney or tuna and tomato, a tub of yoghurt, a piece of fruit and maybe some sultanas.

    I was thinking of you early this morning, remembering your soup diet, when you had soup for meals, and was thinking I may just go back to soup for dinner each night, because it worked, I enjoyed it, it was quick and easy to just reheat a bowl of home made soup, and I could eat a piece of fruit or maybe some dried fruits and/or nuts afterwards. Add to that my daily milk intake in hot drinks and over my cereal and my day's nutrients were taken care of.

    I too battle with not getting my house cleaning done as often as I'd like it to be done, and I wish I had more time and motivation to get more exercise but I don't. If you and I feel this way, I'm sure there are many others out there who do as well. I need to do the same thing each day, eat the same things each day, exercise the same way every day, so I can do it without thinking. After reading your blog I am going to start on creating a routine for myself, starting tomorrow morning. I've read so many times it only takes 5 days to create a habit so here's hoping that's right...

    3401 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/22/2010 6:11:37 AM
    We have this quote hung above my son's piano. It seems to fit with what you are writing:


    If you think you are beaten, you are;
    If you think you dare not, you don't;
    If you'd like to win but think you can't,
    It's certain that you won't.

    If you think youll lose, you've lost,
    For out of the world we find
    Success begins with a fellow's will;
    It's all in the state of mind.

    Life's battles don't always go
    To the strongest and fastest man;
    But sooner or later the man who wins
    Is the man who thinks he can.


    3401 days ago
    It sounds as if you've made great steps towards improving your health.If something works for you, why change it? I find I do better if I eat more fruit and veg and fewer carbs, but I know I don't exercise enough. The motivational stuff on SP is very good, especially coach Dean. You need to be kinder to yourself. Try telling yourself every day the things you're doing well and encouraging yourself. Don't beat yourself up if you slip. We all do it. I've just read Clarissa Dickson-Wright's book "Spilling the Beans". She talks about her life and the 12 step programme of AA which saved her. She was one of the "Two Fat Ladies" who made a TV show on cookery. They rode around in a motorbike and sidecar.
    Keep blogging, we're here to support you.
    3402 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/22/2010 5:13:17 AM
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