August 18, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
I’m having kind of a rough day, a rough few days in fact. I was doing so well. I lost 6 pounds for my $10,000 challenge at my gym but I’m sure I’ve gained over the last couple days because I’ve been eating pretty horribly. I’m in a very negative mind set right now and I don’t know how to change that. I keep wondering why bother trying. I’m not going to win the challenge. Why bother doing anything anymore.
Then I start thinking I’m a horrible person because I’m worrying about myself and my trivial issues when we just recently found out my grandfather has cancer. It’s incurable and he may only have a few months to live. We’re waiting on test results but at most he’s got 3 to 4 years and there’s a 50% chance he’ll die within 6 months.
I’ve known this for a couple weeks, but it’s only now sinking in I think. I need to find a way to not let this ruin my efforts though. I need to find a way other than eating to deal with this. I am definitely an emotional eater. I am thinking about seeing a therapist for a little while but it’s so expensive so I’m looking for alternatives. My current mindset is making every little thing bother me now, and everything seems so difficult. School, work, exercise, eating healthy. I just don’t want to do anything.
Sorry guys, I don’t mean to be complaining or anything.