brooding over a bowl of oatmeal

Sunday, August 15, 2010

This is going to be one of those useless rambling blogs, but indulge me, it's early in CA.
I woke up this morning feeling so wonderful and heatlhy. I walked off my stress yesterday and ate all my veggies and drank all my water. Yesterday when I woke up after drinking and eating too much I couldn't even pull myself out of bed. I wish I could bottle that feeling and put it on the shelf next to the beer and frosting as a reminder that it's just not worth it, even for the momentary pleasure. Since I've turned myself into a "grown up" I have started drinking more and more. We have wine parties and go out for drinks, or even have a beer with lunch, and I know it not only makes my struggle with my weigh harder, it makes me feel unhealthy.
Today I'm heading into San Diego to meet a friend from college. Usually I would think: San Diego has the best microbrews in southern california! We gotta go have a few, but I don't want to feel crappy tomorrow, and I know that even one to two beers will make my body sluggish come time for my Monday morning workout.
I'm not going to go over board and say I want to quit drinking. I know that's not realistic, but this "social drinking" thing isn't working out for me. My uncle (by marriage not genetics... we're blesses not to have any alcholism in the gene pool) had to quit drinking when I was a little girl and he still manages to get by. He brings a bottle of Sparkling Mineral water with him whenever he is going to be a drinking situation. It comes in all the same containers that booze does and has the same fizz without any of the calories or poison (okay, unless sodium counts as poison, but chose your battles here). I think I'm going to try only drinking one night a week this semester. I know that I won't be able to abstain EVERY day, but I'd like to try. This week I don't have any pre-scheduled drinking events yet, but next week I have 2. Then school starts back up and the amount of time for drinking drops dramatically anyway.
Okay, my oatmeal is gone and I have to get going if I want to make it to San Deigo at a reasonable time, but thanks for listening.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sounds like your aware of a behaviour that is self destructive. Have you thought about why it is you feel the need to drink in these types of social situations? I know for me when I go out with my friends to bars I find 1 beer takes the edge off of talking to strangers and it makes me a bit more social that I would be sober. For you there might be a different motivation but finding out what that is could be helpful to your recovery. I am rooting for you and am sending you positive vibes from Canada:) You can do this:)
    3452 days ago
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