30 Day Shred: Day 6

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Ever since reaching out to someone I know who goes to OA meetings, I was waiting in anticipation to our phone call at 11 p.m. It was good to speak to someone else suffering. She encouraged me to return to meetings (no surprise there), but it was helpful to hear it.

I'm nervous about my boyfriend's birthday coming up on Sunday. Fancy cake and going out to eat. I just don't want to deal with it, but I want him to have a great time. You only turn 30 once!

Anyways, I rocked the shred Level 1 this afternoon, incorporating my heavy weights. Wasn't as hard as times past, though definitely a good workout.

After my Gemara class this evening, I went for a jog for almost an hour! I just needed to get some exercise outside. Also, burning off some of that excess from the binge can't hurt.

My eating and tracking and sleeping and everything is all topsy turvy. The smart thing to do is to probably put some things on my life on hold and attend more OA meetings. Well, one thing at a time. I have on my calendar to try a meeting on Friday morning. But if I stick to going to meetings like I stick to my food plan, there will be a problem!

I wish I didn't have to deal with this, but I guess I should thank Gd that I don't have cancer or some serious disease. Sometimes this feels just as bad or worse, though.

I'm no longer feeling so optimistic like yay, new day! New Jewish month begins today. I've said "new day, new plan, new start," over and over and over, and I keep screwing up in newer and bigger ways. I'm not a quitter, and I'm not giving up, but I'm not fooling myself either. This sucks, and I have my work cut out for me.

I hope I can get my @ss out of bed tomorrow so that I can make a protein-rich breakfast. This seems to help me a lot. I will also try not to overcompensate by not eating enough. I will treat myself right. I will place my needs first.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks for the support, friends!!! I just get irrational, unproductive intrusive thoughts like (Why should I get used to eating protein for breakfast. I can't do this every day. What if I'm away? [I used to travel a lot more often on weekends]) Instead, I need to just take it one day, one meal at a time, and calmly do my best with the choices at hand - easier said than done, right?!
    3695 days ago
    I 2nd the protein smoothie for breakfast - don't know how I would have been this successful without it. I heart whey protein!!!!
    3695 days ago
    OA will tell you addiction to food is the same with any addiction. You will have feelings of sadness and hopelessness. You will have slips. It's part of getting better. It helps us to see what we need to change in our lives and why we need to stick to it. Try to get the meeting on Friday, I think you'll see how much it will help you through the weekend. Birthdays are just hard. One way to handle the event is to make sure you'll allotted the calories for cake. And I really like your protein for breakfast plan. I have a protein smoothie with 25 grams of protein in the morning. It really helps!
    3695 days ago
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