much better mood today

Last night's work out did help put things in perspective. I got my heart rate monitor which makes me happy, and my heart rate averaged 150ish. I burned a total of 577 calories. When I went to the gym before P90X, I noticed that the treadmill read my heart rate monitor which was cool, and inspired me to run. I hate running, but I like watching my heart rate in the mean time. :] I think I may have to start making myself run a mile each day before P90X and perhaps 2 miles once a week so I can actually train for my two mile I have to do in October for score. I thought it would be easy to get up to 100 percent on each event, but the run will give me a little trouble. I am going to shoot for my best this year, and PLAN (instead of hoping this time, haha) to get 100 percent on each aspect next year. I have gotten in much better shape this year and know I will blow last year's score out of the water, but I know I can still make quite a bit of progress.

I keep taking pictures of myself hoping to one day post them on here, but I always delete them. I am so judgemental of my pictures. I can feel gorgeous, and then take a picture of myself and break it down into little imperfections. That's why I like candid photos, hard to get those of myself. :] I will have to just suck it up and do it. Even if I don't feel like the photos catch how I feel, at least I can use them as progress pictures.

I have been working slowly but surely on my motivation colage. It has taken me a long time to start to put it together, but since I have decided it is time to have ME time, it is a project I have been working on. I knew I would find a use for my old Women's Health, Self, Glamour, Spin, etc magazines I have kept through the ages. I am trying to pick pictures of women that look really happy in what they're wearing or what they're doing. Women in interesting clothing, running on the beach, playing in a field of flowers, etc. Things that I used to never want to do and now I want to do everything. That and pictures of YUMMY healthy food, can't go wrong there. :]

Work in progress, like much else in my life. I think I like that though. I read an article last night (while looking through old magazines) about disorganization in peoples lives. We all need a little chaos, there are just different amounts that we can handle. I, for example, need my space to be clean and organized. Everything in its place. But if anyone else looked at my dresser, they might not understand the way I organize things. It's my way, and I like it. I feel the same way about my life, I like to have these little categories for time and commitment, but it is nice to have that time in the day where I don't have planned what I am doing. Just something that I enjoy. It's nice. I am also slightly a control freak, that is why me having my own space is helping my relationship so much. Bruce has his room which is a complete mess (already) and I could care less. Because MY room is clean, and the kitchen where I spend the rest of my time. The living room will be once we get some furniture (it is pathetically bare). As long as my room (and bathroom) is clean, I am good and I feel in control.

I guess that's about it. It's Wednesday again, and I am ready for the weekend, while anxious because I REALLY want to get it right this week. If I do great every other weekend, it's better than none, right?
Have a good one.