the million dollar question....

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Besides the obvious emotional causes behind my binges, I can't figure out if my bingeing is worse when:

a) my entire kitchen is free from ANY kind of snack food and i'm being vigilant 100% of the time


b) when i try to incorporate teeny amounts of healthy treats into my diet.

it's like i can't have ANYTHING somewhat delicious around, because I will eat it until it's gone. my binge last night was painful. i'm in actual, PHYSICAL pain today because of the amount I ate.

i don't get it-- I haven't been depriving myself or anything lately, and I feel like i've been approaching this lifestyle change in a truly healthy/realistic way this time.... is it just my T.O.M. coming? Or am I cursed with being a binge eater for the rest of my life?

i feel so sick. uuggghhh.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    GIRL!!! There are certain things I know I can't keep in my house. Let me name a few: ice cream, hot fudge, sugary cereals, yummy flavored big bags of chips. I don't know. It just goes on and on. I have tried to tell myself I will only eat 1 portion but if I start then I won't stop. It is different for everyone but I have figure out through a process of elimination what I can and cannot keep in my home because those "trigger foods" will get me every time! I learned this from Overeaters Anonymous. Everyones triggers are different. What causes the overeating to start, what foods comfort you but it sounds like it might be stress eating with school to me. (This is just my personal opinion) School and balance don't even begin to go in the same sentence together! I believe you said you have one more exam before you can get back to your girlies, right? When you do get back to your girlies and away from the stress of tests I bet you will see a dramatic decline in compulsive overeating! It's going to get better! I promise!!!
    emoticon emoticon
    2842 days ago
    Hey gorgeous,

    Well for me I do tend to over do it on TOTM. However, I also have a day where I can barely look at food (usually the day after I eat everything in sight). Are you on the pill? I've noticed that I have a lot less control when I am (your body thinks you're pregnant, OF COURSE it's harder).

    Also, it was a hard one, but I stopped 'restricting' myself when it comes to goodies. Now, that doesn't mean I gorge on treats all the time, it just means they aren't off-limits. I'm selective about what I have in my house for that reason, but I tell myself I can have them whenever I want and I don't go crazy eating them anymore.

    I don't buy Little Debbie brownies or crap like that, but I have a nice stash of dark chocolate, everything I would need to bake most goodies I want, and some good Edy's slow-churned ice cream. If I am DYING for a brownie, I have to bake it, and I use splenda, whole-wheat pastry flour and egg whites and applesauce, etc, so it's filling and healthier. I have dark chocolate kisses, special dark mini-bars etc for my chocolate fix and only take 2 or 3 out of the jar at a time and sit down to eat them. If I want more I go back and get 2 more...

    I grew up being told that all the good stuff was 'bad' for me and not being allowed to have it (except sparingly) most of the year, then in the summer when I visited other family they let me have whatever I want, so I've had a terrible relationship with treats for a long time. This was the only way for me stop the cycle.
    2844 days ago
    Hey honey, don't starve yourself for the rest of the week cos you binged last night! Surely that will just lead to another binge?

    Geeeez I HATE that distended belly feeling, ouch. Trouble is I never remember how bad I'll feel after a binge before it, just like I never remember how good I'll feel after a workout.

    My answer is to not keep my triggers in the house (cheese and mayo are my go-to foods) and to try not to be alone - I won't binge in front of others so I'll call my sister or my bff to come and hang with me if my fella's not home and that usually helps.

    BTW what the heck is a 'buttertart'? Mentioned by dawndreger on the first posted comment...
    2845 days ago
    Oh, I am so so sorry you aren't feeling well. It could be TOM. But I find it doesn't matter if I have goodies around or not - it is the emotional state I am in that is going unrecognized. Now, that is strictly me - you may be different.

    I hope you feel better soon, boo. Don't dwell on it too long - it is going to be okay. And tomorrow is another day to rock it. There is always another chance or choice or day to try again.

    I am proud of you for writing this honest blog. You have the courage to succeed at whatever you please. And you will succeed at this as well. You will. XO

    2845 days ago
    For me, I have just accepted that at my TOM I am going to over eat a little. I think it is part hormones, part physical cravings, and part emotional roller coaster. I just try to make better decisions during TOM than I used to make, and hope for the best.

    I also dont weigh from about 2 days before TOM until about 2 days after. It usually works out better for me. Because I might gain 3 lbs right before and then be 5 lbs down when it is over. But during that time that I am 3 lbs up, it is even harder to stay motivated.

    2845 days ago
    :-( I have a hard time keeping goodies around. Especially doritos. I love doritos. Drink lots of water to feel better. It really helps after a binge and makes you feel better about doing something to get over it. Flushes out all the crap too. Every moment is a new chance so make your moments good.
    2845 days ago
    Sorry to here about last night but sadly I've been there too. I usually try and not restrict myself too much and it seems to even out but I do think some foods are just never going to be "safe" for me to have around....like birthday cake- I'll have one slice and feel good about my control and go about my day but it never fails-when everyone goes to sleep, I'll be eating standing up in front of the fridge...until it's gone.

    I can only say that I also find that TOM leaves me more susceptible to making myself feel better physically and I will give in to things like chips and whatnot. Maybe with the food tracker you could compare and see if there is a pattern and then try and negate it with doing food blogs during your TOM to hold yourself accountable and in check?

    Either way I hope you feel better soon and please don't get to discouraged-we all have stumbles along the way but if you only focus on what you did it might turn into a month before you are on track (believe I know...I'm the Queen of that bad habit!).

    2845 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/10/2010 6:24:50 PM
    I am finding that I have a harder time if I alter from my routine and plan in any way. So like, if I plan some healthy snacks, I'm fine. If I give in to them spur of the moment, all bets are off.

    I just wanted to give you a hug. emoticon

    Binges are my problem too.
    2845 days ago
    I can't speak for you, but I think it's worse being 100% vigilant. I don't "treat" myself everyday, but I feel much more stressed out when I don't let myself eat what I want. It makes the little kid in me angry. Then, she throws a temper tantrum and gets her revenge by eating everything in sight...especially anything sweet.
    2845 days ago
  • JODIANN421
    That is a tough one. I realized that baked doritos are a binge trigger for me. I can have an ice cream each night (low fat typically) and I won't even think about having anything more. Are your calories too low? Have you reevaluated them lately? Maybe you are working out more and you need to up them a bit. I tried losing weight last year and I wouldn't let myself eat anything that was 'bad for me,' I broke one day and gained 20lbs back in a year. This time.. if I want something and it fits in my calories... I have it. I know some people who won't even allow for the smallest treat. I guess it depends on the person, but I want this to be doable for life. It's a lot of give and take. This is going to take a lot of self-discipline on your part but I know you can do it!! emoticon
    2845 days ago
  • MGO09190
    I find it worse, at least for me, to keep ANY sort of snacks around.. Even if it's just a small amount of healthyish snacks, I'll eat and eat it until it's gone :(
    2845 days ago
    I vote for TOM. I had icecream and buttertarts for supper yesterday. That kind of crazy would-make-me-feel-ill-any-other-ti
    me eating is a more reliable indicator than the calendar, at least for me!
    2845 days ago
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