50 Pound Reflection
Sunday, August 08, 2010
Oh. My. Goodness. I've lost 50 pounds! Since February! What in the world?! That's only six months ago. I've never made that much progress on ANYTHING in six months. I've averaged about 8.3 pounds every month. Imagine if that trend continues! I would have lost exactly 100 pounds in 1 year if that is the case. Would I like to weigh 166 by February? Uhm, yes please. And if this trend continued, I would be at my goal by this time next year. And I'd be about 140 by the time Rocky Horror rolls around. Wow.
Now, I realize that is ALL hypothetical, and everything is going to fluxuate. It's just fun to daydream about.
I am still in denial so often. That's why I love weighing in on the Wii Fit. It's so accurate, and I know when it says I weigh something, I weigh that. Because I went to the doctor, and it said the same. On an analog scale, I'd always be like, "Yeah, well, is it calibrated, though?" or "Maybe I'm reading it wrong." And on a digital scale, I'd be like, "Maybe the digital chip is fried, and it is lying."
And sometimes when I look at parts of my body, I have a hard time accepting it. My boobs are considerably smaller and lighter. I am not upset by this, it's just weird to look at them and feel the difference, and I think, "Are these mine?" I look at my legs, and they are starting to slim! I can see where my knees are, they aren't just these huge blocks. They are more shaped like a hurricane glass now, tapering at the knee, as opposed to being shaped like a huge cylinder.
The other thing that is so amazing to me is the support. Oh my GOODNESS.
I don't remember when I made the decision to go public on Facebook, being honest about my weight and being honest about what I had to lose. I mean, I remember weighing 150. (Not heavy.) And LYING about it and being like, "I'm about 135, I think. I dunno, I haven't weighed myself in forever." And I was ashamed when I got over 200. But somewhere along the line, I realized, "People see you. They know you aren't light. Why lie? Does 220 really sound better than 240? People aren't gonna be like OH GOOD, because I thought you were gonna say 240 and that is HUGE. 220 is GREAT!"
But ever since going public, I have received support from ALL corners of the world. People collect friends on Facebook all the time. I have friends on Facebook that maybe I haven't seen in a long time, or maybe I don't really talk to, or maybe I went to school with them. And they were commenting on my success more often than my close friends and family! And that was mind-blowing, and totally kept me going.
And before I know it, I started receiving messages from people telling me how much I've inspired them. That was something I never expected or intended. Literally, I never thought about it.
I've gotten to watch people changing THEIR lives, because of something I've done. That, to me, is more satisfying than anything I've achieved.
I am continually amazed and excited about my progress, and others' progress, and what is going to come!