Saturday, August 07, 2010
I felt sick and just woke up Friday with a huge urge to eat that came out of nowhere, catching me totally off guard. And as I've been sleep deprived, I didn't have the strength to smash the beast. That threw me off in all sorts of ways. I've been feeling sick and gross for the last 48 hours. I couldn't do my 30DS today. Just felt too tired.
I don't even know what to say other than, I'm starting over tomorrow.
I'm disappointed but done with beating myself up. There is a lot to be happy about in life despite this setback. While I've gotten more into shape, all of this time spent on Spark People and obsessing over diet and exercise has also been a vehicle for perfectionism and not feeling very good about myself and ignoring all of the amazing things life has to offer. It's about a lot more than carb counts. That's for sure.
Still, I would like to have a much healthier attitude toward food. I hope that all of this does more harm than good.
I would like to journal my feelings before I eat, each time I eat this week. I doubt it will happen, because I binge when I tune out. And if I'm tuned out, I'm not going to journal!
Well, I'd really like to do that. I think it would help a lot.