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Strange "Helpful" Advice

Friday, August 06, 2010

As anyone who's followed my journey knows, I'm suffering from back problems, which are radically changing what exercise I can do. This has led to some depression, which is an unusual state for me. (Energizer bunnies get more frenetic when under stress.)

For the last month, I've made the rounds of various specialists to determine exactly how many discs have to come out and how much of a spinal fusion I'm in for, plus find someone who's willing to work on a spine that already has hip bones fused in to fix a bad break.

Since sitting is the most painful position, visits to doctors can be excruciating. Plus, I've had to move my laptop into the kitchen so I can work standing up.

At any rate, last night I was talking to a friend about the daily challenge of getting in my calorie burn and my insane fear that if I don't, I'll wake up some morning 100 pounds heavier.

Her response was, "It's okay if you gain weight now. You know how to lose it."

Her comment bothers me on so many levels.

First, it reminds me of the way I thought when I was thin, never thought about exercise 'cause my life was so active and ate healthy food 'cause there isn't much else available in the third world. Since weight was never an issue for me, I didn't understand how difficult it is to change patterns that become comfortable.

Second, while I know "how" to lose it, do I really want to go through all that again? I mean, seriously. Just trying to lose a bit more is difficult. I pretty much have to maintain about a 500 calorie deficit a day to maintain my weight. Simple calories in/calories out doesn't do it.

Third, she seems to buy into the American dream that there is a trick to this journey. And, now that I know the secret handshake, it will be no problem.

I miss biking so much it hurts. I can't bring myself to move my bike into storage. I need to be able to see it every day so I know why I'm struggling to keep moving when it would be so much easier to admit defeat.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    ok - that has to rank up there as one of the dumbest comments ever!!!

    So sorry that you are having so many problems with your back - i understand, as i have had spinal surgery, myself. I am able to use a recumbent bike, but not a traditional bike. I'm just glad to be able to do something without being in severe pain or losing feeling altogether! Praying for you!
    2870 days ago
    Ugh. Injury and physical impairment seem to be a couple of the biggest factors I've seen in fitness derailment.

    It's extra difficult because if you can't get in a cardio burn, it's hard to get those natural endorphins, and I don't know about you, but for me they are one of the best ways of fighting the depression that always lurks below my own surface.

    And depression leads to apathy, which leads to weight gain.

    Hang in there Carrie. Can you swim at all?

    Let me know if there's anything I can do, even if it's just to say that you know my number and you can call it any time if you feel like giving up or eating ice cream and need someone to talk you down...
    2874 days ago
    Sorry to hear yo uare struggling. I am so glad you are not giving up. Sometimes it just seems like our bodies don't like us and we have to show them who's boss. I know I struggle with this. Meeting you was an inspiration and you have come a long ways and I know you will find ways to get thru this. You are a very strong woman. I wish there was someway I the pain could just go away, cause i know how active you like to be.
    emoticon emoticon
    2876 days ago
    You know that 'knowing how' is only the tip of the iceberg. Major weight loss is a complete life change: exercise, mental set, discipline, perseverance, giving up comfort on MANY levels... There is great growth during a journey such as yours. One thing you have irrevocably learned is to follow your own wisdom path.

    We others here on SP can and do suggest alternative ways of coping with our accomplishments and. especially, our challenges so that one can look at each from different perspectives ~ but we never say it doesn't matter. It does.

    Kudos to you on being you! I admire you and see your accomplishments as a beacon to others.
    2877 days ago
    I understand so much Carrie. so many times I have just wanted to give in. We can't because that is admitting defeat. Often I tell people to focus on what they can do, not what they can't. I know that you will figure out what works for you.
    2877 days ago
    Wow, Carrie. So many challenges and you just keep on working it. You're amazing. I have had a shoulder issue for the last three weeks and I'm going crazy because I'm so tired of the discomfort so I can only imagine how you must feel on a daily basis.

    Most people would have given up but not our Carrie.... 8-) I'm so proud of you.

    I truly hope you can ride your bike again soon. You know better than your friend so I think it's good her statement bothered you. Shows you're in the right frame of mind.

    Love ya!
    2877 days ago
    So sorry to hear about your difficulty biking...wondering if any of the alternative bicycles might possibly work for you...recumbent or elliptigo:

    This was developed by a fellow who couldn't ride a regular bike for medical reasons.


    2877 days ago
    Your friend doesn't understand because she has never tried to do what we are trying to do.

    I completely relate, not with the injury, but with the trouble losing weight. My metabolism is very low, and I've been struggling to lose even though I've got weekly deficits that should easily drop a pound or even a pound and a half.

    Hang in there! I hope you find out something from the doctors that will ease your pain and give you back your right to sit down AND ride a bike! emoticon
    2877 days ago
  • JRIMM4
    Being sucessful in changing our lifestyles and thus loosing weight is a serious mental shift; one I'm finding that most people around me just don't 'get'. They're still stuck in that diet mentality that sets so many people up for quiting before they can achieve their goals.


    2877 days ago
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