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Motivation down because of work?

Friday, August 06, 2010

For the past few weeks I have been really trying to keep my motivation up and getting back on track with my jogs in the park but I don't seem to be doing as well as I want to. The fact of the matter is that I think it has alot to do with my job and I work for the federal government. I have been going through some things at work that I think is affecting my motivation and not thinking clearly. I have been accused of doing something at work that was not my fault. I have a director that has been after me for reasons beyond me. The truth is I think its' a race issue. She just seems to pick on people that are minorities and who don't kiss her arc. I have to call it how I see it. She has also stated to someone that she needs to get rid of the minorities because there are just to many working here. I had a hearing just the other day fighting what she has been accusing me and wanting to demote me and taking away my salary. She is messing with my livelihood I have a family to care for. My attorney did a great job because he caught her in so many lies. My attorney says that the judge is ruling in my favor because he sees what it is. Her mistake in court was showing that she does have a personal issue with me. I am a highly sought after employee and have been for for 20 years and I have a clean record. The stupidest thing she said was that she could not believe a person like me could be here 20 years and have a such a clean record. Are you serious? She has to find another position for me because she removed me from my current one and now she says she can't find anything that I am qualified for. Has she lost her mind and she could not have known anything about me to say this if she really knew my background. She has only been the director for 4 years. I am so sick of people judging people and not even taking out the time to even get to know them or their background. She has been making my time at work a living hell. I am confident to say that I think I will win this. I have put to much time and effort into my career for it to be taken away for nothing. You would think I committed the ultimate crime according to her. She is a cruel women who will not have any good come to her because of how she is treating people. She is a miserable person that let position go to her head. she doesn't have a sensitive bone in her body. I have been trying to stay strong throughout this whole ordeal because of my family.

So in a nutshell I have not had the same motivation as before in trying to take care of myself. I need to leave this in Gods hands and try to remain sane and get the strength back to keep moving forward and taking care of me. I have had the support of my DH and I love him for that but my soul needs to be fixed so that is where God comes in.

Thanks for listening my sparkling friends. Live everyday like it's your last.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CLEE2830
    Stay strong! The truth will prevail! If she can't find another position for you, how about her job?!?!?!? I know this might sound bad, but sometimes examples have to be made. When you win this case, how about going after her for harrassment in civil court? If she is not dealth with, she will continue this unfair behavior.
    3142 days ago
  • no profile photo MRSBLAK27
    Leave that mess in God's hand, he's capable....
    You get back to taking walks and run really it is a great stress reliever.

    3144 days ago
    I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope she gets nailed to the wall!!!! Please try and take care of yourself!! Not only do you have support at home but you have it here honey!!! Keep that beautiful smile of your showing, things will get better!!
    Luv ya!!! Lyn emoticon
    3146 days ago
    What is wrong with people nowadays? Nobody wants to have an ounce of compassion for another! This is a time when we all need to stick together, yet people want to burn bridges. I'm sorry, friend, that you are going through this. I pray that God will deliver you from this! Take the high road...and keep smiling that beautiful smile!

    3148 days ago
    You nailed it when you said she is a miserable person. She is also ignorant and insensitive.

    I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. It makes sense that your motivation is being taxed. I think it would be ok to indulge in some comfort food..but don't go too overboard.

    I'm glad your DH is supportive. That makes it better. You have done the right thing...turning it over to God. I will pray for you. We often don't understand things that are happening..and many times the outcomes aren't what we desire, but turn out to be the best thing in the long run.

    Stay strong and unburden on us. That's why we are your friends.
    3148 days ago
    You know I hear you loud and clear over here. You stay encouraged and watch the karma that you create. Don't resort to anything negative based on what is going on right now with this situation. Pray about it and God will bring you through this in a better position then when you started out. I too have something similiar. The only thing is my job is going away in seven months. So I'm here praying with you on what God has planned for us. Stay encouraged and keep fighting the good fight, don't gain any weight with this haters mess. God will take care of her in another time.

    Have a great weekend! emoticon
    3148 days ago
    Oh my goodness. I'm soo soo sorry to hear that you're going through all this. I can definitely see how it would affect your workouts. Many of my friends here remember my work ordeal about a year ago. Being accused of something you didn't do completely sucks. I know it did for me. And my supervisor didn't support me at all. I found out who my friends are. I just want to say hang in there. Really. You're going to be ok. You have the truth on your side and she obviously has some issues when it comes to race. My supervisor once said of me and my three black female coworkers that we were to "head strong and direct"..whereas in a white woman these are good qualities. I shook my head at that statement..she was saying that next time she had to hire she'd consider that..meaning not hire a black woman. A lot of her issues with us was we were better educated that her..all of us had Masters degrees..she didn't. And she was the one who used to bring it up all the time so I know it bothered her.

    Just know that you're not alone. You've done the right thing in fighting the charges and clearing your name. I know you're going to win this one. You're probably finding out who your friends are too..which can be hard. But you always have us here..:) This is going to work out in your favor.
    3148 days ago
    Oh Monique...I am so sorry you have to go through all of this at the expense of a very shortsighted spiteful person who if was blind would still be a miserable person. No wonder you've misplaced your motivation. I totally understand.
    Have you thought perhaps of placing her image on the ground so that you "run" over her to take out your frustation "on" her. I'd hate to tell you the times I'd put faces on an imaginary punching bag and take jabs and upper cuts while 'dancing' back 'n forth like a boxer.
    I know you will prevail, you are one of the strongest people I know on Spark. Know that I am sending positive thoughts your way, and look forward to reading your post where the Judge has ruled in your favor.
    Jo Ann
    3148 days ago
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