Motivation down because of work?
Friday, August 06, 2010
For the past few weeks I have been really trying to keep my motivation up and getting back on track with my jogs in the park but I don't seem to be doing as well as I want to. The fact of the matter is that I think it has alot to do with my job and I work for the federal government. I have been going through some things at work that I think is affecting my motivation and not thinking clearly. I have been accused of doing something at work that was not my fault. I have a director that has been after me for reasons beyond me. The truth is I think its' a race issue. She just seems to pick on people that are minorities and who don't kiss her arc. I have to call it how I see it. She has also stated to someone that she needs to get rid of the minorities because there are just to many working here. I had a hearing just the other day fighting what she has been accusing me and wanting to demote me and taking away my salary. She is messing with my livelihood I have a family to care for. My attorney did a great job because he caught her in so many lies. My attorney says that the judge is ruling in my favor because he sees what it is. Her mistake in court was showing that she does have a personal issue with me. I am a highly sought after employee and have been for for 20 years and I have a clean record. The stupidest thing she said was that she could not believe a person like me could be here 20 years and have a such a clean record. Are you serious? She has to find another position for me because she removed me from my current one and now she says she can't find anything that I am qualified for. Has she lost her mind and she could not have known anything about me to say this if she really knew my background. She has only been the director for 4 years. I am so sick of people judging people and not even taking out the time to even get to know them or their background. She has been making my time at work a living hell. I am confident to say that I think I will win this. I have put to much time and effort into my career for it to be taken away for nothing. You would think I committed the ultimate crime according to her. She is a cruel women who will not have any good come to her because of how she is treating people. She is a miserable person that let position go to her head. she doesn't have a sensitive bone in her body. I have been trying to stay strong throughout this whole ordeal because of my family.
So in a nutshell I have not had the same motivation as before in trying to take care of myself. I need to leave this in Gods hands and try to remain sane and get the strength back to keep moving forward and taking care of me. I have had the support of my DH and I love him for that but my soul needs to be fixed so that is where God comes in.
Thanks for listening my sparkling friends. Live everyday like it's your last.