Wednesday, August 04, 2010
So.... yesterday I threw myself a pity party... and am thankful I threw it and here in public. I received many great responses and a LOT of good old fashioned tough love. It's things like that... I think I need some days.
The days I just feel like I should give up... what's the point... and that is why I am the way I am. I GAVE UP.
I can't be that person anymore. That person is a downer. That person is heavy because her mind is not fully set. That person was not fully committed. That person was destined to fail.
I don't want to be that person anymore. I'm tired of that person. I want a better, lighter me. I'm so sick of being fat. I'm so sick of not being able to wear the cute clothes... but rather the "tarps" they have out there for heavy girls. That is how I view these clothes I wear... TARPS! I don't want to be that person anymore. I'm so sick of it.
Yesterday we had a food drive in my community... I went through my cupboards and got rid of every single fat food in there. Everything that was destined to thwart me on my journey. In turn, that has lightened my cabinets... which means I need to go grocery shopping once again. Which also means, this time around.. I can purchase the items that will be GOOD for me. Not foods that are going to build onto my middle.
I can do this, I know I can... I don't view 75 lbs to be THAT much of a challenge. It seems like a small goal. One that in which I truly think I can accomplish. I am fighting urges to eat / drink items that are unhealthy. I did so well for the first few weeks, then started to slack off. This is the routine I get stuck in....
I WILL NOT DO IT AGAIN!
New month, new rules, new routine. I might need to start back at square one... but dang it... I'm going to do this. I WILL. I WILL. I WILL.