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Annoyed with myself

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Well, I was very disappointed in the scale and tape measurements today. I don't really have a lot of weight to loose and was trying to maintain but I almost find that that is harder because it's sort of ambiguous. At least when you have to loose weight you have a more concrete goal. I would like to loose the 10 pounds I gained back (5 of which were gained back this past month!). I'm a teacher and I'm either too busy at school to eat right and exercise or it's summer like right now and I have way too much time to eat and it's too hot outside to do much of anything other than go to my apartment's gym, and I really hate feeling like a hampster on a wheel... I need to find some balance. Sometimes I think it would almost be easier if I was on a year round schedule like most people but I guess even then you have holidays and vacations and such that throw things off and food in the office. I'm going to try and consistently track my food because that seems to be the only thing that really works for me. I tend to get way too exacting with the calorie tracker trying to finding the exact food and amount and such. I think as long as I'm putting it in, whether or not it's actually accurate will help me to feel sort of accountable. I don't really feel like I can talk to my friends about my weight struggles because they all always just tell me that I don't need to loose weight. But the true gauge is how I feel and I feel better 10 pounds lighter! I have a petite bone structure and am not very large on top (if you know what I mean) and it makes me feel like I need to stay at the bottom end of the healthy BMI range for me to feel and look right. My friends just don't understand this. I guess I should be glad that almost everyone guesses me to be a much smaller size than I really am, I'd rather have that problem than the opposite. So, maybe I don't need to loose weight but I certainly don't want to keep gaining, especially at this rate! I need to get over the all or nothing type of approach. It would be nice if I felt like I could share this with my friends in my church small group but unfortunately I don't think I'm ready for that yet. At least there are my friends on Sparkpeople but I don't know, there is no real accountability it seems. I guess I'll just keep working at it.
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  • JOY1918
    Don't get down on yourself too much. Your body might be telling you something. I can relate to you in that maintaining weight is not easy and very frustrating. When I was younger and thinner and on and off WW, I had people telling me the same thing they are telling you. I was just not happy with my body. Now looking back, I was thin during those years and never fully enjoyed it. Now I am at a point where it seeems that no matter what I do or eat, I am not losing the 10lbs I would like to. My trainer tells me I look good, a dietician told me that I am doing good and that I might not be able to lose consuming 1250 - 1350 calories even with exercise.

    So, my point is... enjoy where you are at. No, you don't want to gain anymore, I agree. Try new foods, new exercise routines. Are you eating too much or too little?

    Yes, it is all very frustrating, but don't obsess over it, that doesn't help. Trust me. emoticon
    2875 days ago
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