Had another funky Monday today. Not manic like last time (thank God, lol), but funky.
My spirit is low, my heart is heavy. All day was just a struggle to keep going. I biked on Friday, and had a blast, and then, boom, it's back to work again. The grind. It gets to me every now and then. (sigh) Ah well! Que sera sera.
So contrary to what I would have done a year ago, grab some Chips Ahoy and Cheezits and park it in front of some TV, I decided that I had to get my body active and going. So all day, I'm thinking. What to do, what to do?
Finally I decided to get back on the bike. I had such a great time Friday, maybe I'm still in the spirit. So I ate my lunch at my desk. Then during my lunch break, I used the whole time to hightail it back home (I live closeby) and sneak in a quick bike ride around the block. 15 minutes in motion. 150 cals burned.
I felt better! Not great, but better.
I return from lunch and I'm back at my desk, still just chugging, chugging, chugging on the job. Unhappy. So as soon as 5pm hits. I decide I need another go. And so I do. I drive back home, grab my bike, hog it in the car and drive. But this time, I don't know where I'm going (laughing). Funny right? I know I need to "go", but I don't know "where I'm going"... lol... I just felt I would listen to my spirit.
Along the way I put on some Pavarotti (yes, I love me some opera - Pav, Bocelli and Domingo are my loves) and bought myself some flowers, you know from those roadside vendors. Deep fuschia roses. The stoplight is red so I can just smell them for a minute... (because, yes you have to stop and smell the roses sometimes, I kid you not).
Miracle of miracles, again, I felt better.
Finally I arrive at my destination. Mind you I didn't know where I was going (lol), but somehow, en route, I had decided. I decided to go to the local county park. It's huge with tons of bike trails and pavilions and open space wrapped around this great canal system. Plus it had just rained so the air smelled sweet of dew. It was great. I got out the car and onto my bike and cruised around just drinking in the scent and sites of nature. 20 minutes in motion. 220 cals burned.
Yes, that was exactly what I had needed. I felt even better now. Almost a hundred percent.
Back home I put my roses in some water. I eat. I can feel though, that I'm still a little down trodden. I don't like it, but I at least did something today, right? But, wrong. Because then, why do I still feel this?
I force myself not to work and just sit down and relax. Where does that always take me? Online, to SparkPeople (laughing). So I'm looking through my SP friends pages and then come across a new page, ASHLEYEH22. I love her page and spunk and dedication, so I friend her. Then something on her page caught my eye. It's a Spark poster.
The woman in it looks so fierce. Like the woman I want to be. Then I read the message, and BOOM. I'm inspired.
I'm inspired to get my butt up and squash this sadness. I biked twice today and it didn't get the job done. So you know what? The job wasn't finished. I have to be dedicated to healing my mind and healing my body, no excuses. So now I'm out the door to RUN off this sadness and burn some calories. And when I get back in and wash the sweat and tears off under the shower, it will be finished. And I'll be back to my old, April self.
It's just so funny how inspiration just comes in the blink of an eye, just like that. And I will be dedicated to feeling better.
Thanks SP, thanks SP friends, and thanks ASHLEYEH22.
P.S. Aren't my roses lovely? Every time I look at them, I smile. And if you're having a bad day today...they're your roses too.
...for reading. Leave me a note... I love that!
"If at first you don't succeed... try, try again."
With man, this is possible. With GOD, ALL things are possible.