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Sad about Best Friend

Thursday, July 15, 2010

My dearest friend has so many wonderful talents, is a terrific teacher and met the love of her life about 8 years ago. Both she and her dearest were older and had been separated for years from their spouses. They found such a spark of love in each other that it was glorious to be around them. After a couple of years when they had divorced their spouses, they made a private life-long commitment to each other. A couple year ago he was diagnosed with cancer, which spread much more rapidly than was expected. As his health declined, he insisted on a marriage ceremony which was performed by a judge in her house with the groom in a hospital bed. He was gone within a few months. The last two years she has seemed strong and shared her sense of his closeness to her with us. Her oldest daughter married a charming and wonderful man who brought the whole family closer together. What none of us realized is that she wasn't grieving and now it has come crashing down on her. She has seen a doctor is is taking meds which haven't kicked in yet. I wish there was something I could do, but I know all I can do is be there for her. It has brought back some painful memories of my early days of depression.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Your friend is blessed to have someone as loving and supportive as you. And please don't discount the value of "just being there," because it's the greatest gift there is. I speak from experience -- during times of grief in my life, friends who were there with hugs and an ear to listen were the best support I could have.
    3413 days ago
    Your friend is very fortunate to have someone like you to support her, who understands what it is like to go through such a dark place. It isn't easy to do, but being able to use your experience to comfort her will help bring meaning to your own struggles.
    As someone who didin't find love until later in life myself, I can imagine how devestating it could be to have such a short time together. What I try to remember when I start to regret that I didn't meet my DH sooner, is to be grateful that I have had the chance to have love in my life at all, when so many people never do.
    I hope that the meds help your friend find some relief from her despair soon.
    3414 days ago
    All you can do is be there for her. I understand the frustration of not being able to fix it for her, but we have to fight out own battles. My heart went out to your friend when I read this. All my best to the both of you.
    3414 days ago
    That is really hard when you want to help someone and 'fix' it and you can't. You are so right, all you can do is be there for her. Grieving is hard and to lose someone that means that much to you is devastating. If she hasn't allowed herself to feel any of those feelings until now, she is going to need you. If for nothing more then a shoulder to cry on, she is going to need your support.

    Good luck and lots of hugs for you
    3414 days ago
    3414 days ago
    All you can do is be there for her stand strong she will need you I will keep her in my prayers. It is sad to find something so late there is little time to enjoy it but it is better than never having found it.
    3414 days ago
    Oh my gosh, my heart went out to your friend as I read your blog. I hope and pray that she finds peace and that she does NOT go into a depression. *huggzz*
    3414 days ago
    I'm sorry about your dear friend, I'll pray for the both of you. take care now. linda
    3414 days ago
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