What am I up to?
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Mixed feelings about my progress.
So. After my pitiful woe-is-me blog about gaining 3 pounds, I lost 2.9 the next day. So the next day I was like, "Nevermind, all better!" :)
I've been making some bad choices the past few nights. It's always at the end of the night.
Had a great day on Sunday. Ate a super healthy breakfast, got some exercise in, had a great lunch, had a healthy home cooked dinner - and then I was like, "I need more calories - BROWNIE SUNDAE!" Boom, gained 1.5 pounds the next day.
Had a great day on Monday. Ate a super healthy breakfast. Dave got a concussion at work so I spent my lunch break taking him to Urgent Care. Did not get to walk a mile to get salad for lunch like intended. Had a veggie sub instead. No big deal. Immediately upon getting out of work, had to take Dave to ER. Spent night in the ER from 5:30pm until 9:00pm. When we got out of the ER - I was ragingly hungry and bitchy. We got pizza at Pizza Hut. I ate THREE BREADSTICKS AND TWO SLICES OF PIZZA WITH A MOUNTAIN DEW. WHAT THE HELL?!
Had a great day today. Had a nice breakfast. Worked out in the morning. Walked a mile on my lunch break, walked to get a salad for lunch. Worked out in the afternoon. Got all my water in. WENT TO MI RANCHITO AND ATE TONS OF DEEP FRIED HOMEMADE CHIPS AND SALSA WITH A BEAN ENCHILADA.
What am I doing?!?!
Every day I think, "Okay, stupid. You KNOW better. Make today GREAT." And I just have these moments where I sin against myself. That's what it feels like - sinning. And as I was walking to lunch today there was a license plate that said GOD4GVS, which is comforting. But it's just like: you are presented with two VERY OBVIOUS choices... one being the RIGHT thing to do, and one being the CLEARLY WRONG thing to do, and I zone out and pick the wrong thing.
I'm not upset, because I know this isn't going to be forever. And I am not upset because I a) got all my water in, b) jogged 7.5 miles for an hour, c) worked out twice at work, d) walked a mile on my lunch break and had a salad.
Ay yi yi, I need a babysitter...