my shame

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

I've been doing so well about emotional eating but this weekend I went over the edge. My apt complex changed their pet policy so I lost my feline, Musiq. On Saturday, my boyfriend's mother had a 50 lb beam fall on her head and when I called an ambulance, she and her other son fussed me out and got angry with me.

All the pain and hurt and embarrasment was too much. I ate 3 pints of ice cream in 3 days. Yesterday alone, I ate almost 2. As I'm eating it feels so comforting and wonderful and now I'm in the regret, what did I just do? stage. I am so disappointed in myself.

I've now imposed a ban on ice cream in my home for the rest of the year. If we go to Bruster's or Cold stone, it's ok, but no more buying a quart and it's gone in 3 days. No more buying a pint several times a week. I can't do this anymore. I'm not the insecure little girl I used to be-I need to start coping with negative feelings better.

I know it was a mistake and I have to get back up again. I just really needed to get this off my chest. There's such a stigma on those with eating disorders and talking to people in my life, they just don't understand.

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  • TIERRA126
    Thannks so much, Your kind words are definitely helping me to move past this.
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    3893 days ago
  • CRESHA20
    Thank God for you exercising common sense and calling an ambulance. Many people have died after head injuries b/c they thought they were fine. It just sucks when people don't appreciate when you do something to help them out. I have been there with the emotional eating, and I still have not overcome it. I know about people just not understanding why you feel the need to gorge yourself. It's hard to explain when sometimes you don't understand yourself. I am so sorry about Musiq b/c I know you really loved your pet. That must be horrible. Things will definitely get better. I know that you are in the fight to win it. Keep pushing forward, and you will definitely succeed. You know you can always call, text, or whatever me and of course Patty too. Don't beat yourself over b/c what's done yesterday is the past. You learn and move forward.

    3893 days ago
    Good call on the ice cream ban. If you can't say no to it then not having around really works. I would have called an ambulance too. Head injuries can be quite scary. Don't beat yourself up. You made a responsible choice. Keep going...We are all pulling for you! emoticon
    3893 days ago
  • FIT_BY_2012

    And don't feel bad about calling an ambulance, I would have too~ head injuries can be very serious.
    3893 days ago
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