my shame

I've been doing so well about emotional eating but this weekend I went over the edge. My apt complex changed their pet policy so I lost my feline, Musiq. On Saturday, my boyfriend's mother had a 50 lb beam fall on her head and when I called an ambulance, she and her other son fussed me out and got angry with me.

All the pain and hurt and embarrasment was too much. I ate 3 pints of ice cream in 3 days. Yesterday alone, I ate almost 2. As I'm eating it feels so comforting and wonderful and now I'm in the regret, what did I just do? stage. I am so disappointed in myself.

I've now imposed a ban on ice cream in my home for the rest of the year. If we go to Bruster's or Cold stone, it's ok, but no more buying a quart and it's gone in 3 days. No more buying a pint several times a week. I can't do this anymore. I'm not the insecure little girl I used to be-I need to start coping with negative feelings better.

I know it was a mistake and I have to get back up again. I just really needed to get this off my chest. There's such a stigma on those with eating disorders and talking to people in my life, they just don't understand.