I am normal in my own weird "twin" way

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Several people have commented that this is a sad blog. I don't think of it that way - I think it is me telling you a little bit more about myself. Each of us is unique and has our quirks. This certainly explains some of mine.

I was a late in life baby. When my mother had me she also delivered a stillborn twin girl. So when I was growing up and had something weird physically going on - my family always said that was the part that I took from my twin. I believed that!! I remember telling people that because my twin had to die - she gave me some things to take into the world. In a way I was incredibly naive but in another way it was my attempt to connect with a twin sister. I am no longer sad about my twin - she is a fond thought or a comforting memory who gives me some moments of humor when I think back on my youthful beliefs.

So I do have some weird little things that persist. I have fuzzy, crinkly hair that is balding on the left side of my head and thick, full, straight hair on the right. I now know that my father had the same and I was the lucky child who inherited that unique feature.

The other thing that persists is my leg discrepancy. My left leg is one inch longer than my right. This has caused me no end of physical problems from the mundane of poor posture to the painful of bad back joints, frozen shoulder, feet problems. I need to be very careful when I exercise that I don't throw myself out of alignment. The last time I did that I was in PT for two years.

I have been waiting to reach normal BMI on my spark journey. Well I am 5'6" on the right (bmi - 154) and 5'7" on the left (bmi - 159). Which do I choose to measure my normal BMI? I decided to wait until I was "normal" for both halves of my body. This week I weighed in at 154 - so both halves of my body are now officially normal (which is great because the left side has been taunting the right side for weeks now).

This is a pretty significant milestone for me. I wanted to share it with all of my spark friends since I cannot share it with my twin - who would either be 5'7" with frizzy hair or 5'6" with great hair.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SROUS1340
    Normal is grand, itsn't it! My new favorite word.
    Congrats on getting both sides to match!
    3274 days ago
    What a sweet story. :)

    Congratulations on your milestone!
    3289 days ago
    This is an amazing story. Thanks for sharing your tale. You have had a lot to deal with, and you deal with it with humor.
    3289 days ago
    Congrats on your milestone. You are not only "normal" but crazy amazing beautiful. Thank so much for sharing such personal details of your journey.


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    3289 days ago
    Just catching up. . . I didn't find this blog sad at all - in fact, I found it kinda funny (except for the physical problems resulting from your differing leg lengths. What a pain!) We all have our quirks. Congrats on reaching a healthy bmi. It's a pretty big milestone to be able to say that you're at a healthy weight. Happy for you! And I laughed about the left side taunting the right. :)
    3293 days ago
    WOW - I just saw this blog. I don't know how I missed it but am glad I went to your page to see if you had blogged lately.

    I like that you have attached to your twin and it sounds as if you embrace your unique personality and physical features (we all have them). BIG TIME CONGRATULATIONS on your milestone! That is so great and you must feel amazing about it!

    3302 days ago
  • LLTS01
    emoticon Congrats on meeting that milestone . I am just a few pound away myself.
    3304 days ago
    Congrats on reaching your BMI--as if the numbers aren't confusing enough on their own, you have to add in the height discrepancy! Can't wait until I reach my BMI. I'm wishing by September. We'll see . . .
    3306 days ago
    HURRAY for BMI!!!! YAHOOO!!!!

    And I think we all have our endearing little foibles. I don't find this sad, I think it's a great way to ensure she was a part of your life. I'm glad you are happy, healthy and smiling. Way to go!
    3312 days ago
    Well, Mary, congrats on the BMI! That is a wonderful achievement! As far as the twin business goes: it's just one of those quirky little things that makes you, YOU. And 'they say' that Elvis Presley's mother told him something very similar in terms of his twin brother. Did you know he had an identical twin who died at birth?
    3312 days ago
    Yah, thank God for finally giving me a normal friend ;) There is something so deeply mysterious and intricate about the twin relationship that I'm not surprised that you made sense out of it that way as a child. She played a role in your life and I'm glad you shared that, it's good to get to know you better. In college I had a suite mate who was a twin and one of our friends used to tell her that she always felt very strongly that she was a twin, but she knew she wasn't. Wrong. She found out her senior year that she had a twin who died a few months after birth. The family had decided to not tell her for some reason.

    I didn't feel like the blog was sad, but rather that you were sharing some things about yourself that we didn't know before. I am sorry about the 1", though, I know that must create a lot of problems. One of my legs is off by just a little bit which I understand is not uncommon, but I do have more pain and problems on that side.

    Sorry about the bald spot. How's your neck doing? My hair is thinning and I try not to look at my neck. The other morning when I got up I looked in the mirror and wondered when my eyelids disappeared and why did I notice them leaving.

    3312 days ago
    I don't think that your blog is sad at all. It tells a wonderful story of your growing up and allows us to get to know you. I don't think you are "weird" either...I think everyone has their own personal quirks. I surely have mine...but the best part was reaching your goal and that is simply FANTASTIC! I am following right behind you...just a few more pounds to go...and I shall be shouting from the roof tops with you! Keep it up! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3312 days ago
  • no profile photo THIAGRAM
    Congratulations on meeting a very significant milestone! I think you are a very beautiful woman inside and out, even with the quirks, which I'm sure nobody ever notices. Thanks for sharing this with us! I also believe you will one day meet your twin in the after-life! What a blessing to reach a normal BMI! I love it when normal is wonderful!!

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    3312 days ago
    Congrats on being a healthy bmi.... you made me laugh at your 2 sides. Your uniqueness is what I love about you. (Never realised you were THAT unique tho... lol)

    3312 days ago
    P.S. weren't all those comments lovely? Brought tears to my eyes. Sweet....

    3313 days ago
    Sweet and touching. It is obvious that your twin is someone you feel you know and miss, and find ways to carry her with you. (I say is because I believe she is still alive and well on the "other side" in spirit form, and that you will get to see her again when you "pass over".) I find that very touching.

    Your "weird" (I would call them unique) qualities have caused some physical problems for you that you have learned to work with throughout your life. Good for you!

    You look wonderful at the weight/BMI you have reached. Congratulations, and thank you for sharing more of yourself with us. As I say, it was very touching to me.
    3313 days ago

    what can I say that hasn't already been said. Your uniqueness is what makes you special. I strongly believe that when someone special in our lives passes on, they become our angel. Perhaps your sister has been your angel.

    I have to admit I did laugh because envisioned this person with 2 different hairdos at 2 different heights. Perhaps a movie in sight. :)

    Congratulations on the BMI - good for you. I knew you could do it. Take care of yourself because you are the only one who can.
    3313 days ago
  • no profile photo RITAROSE
    Dear Mary,
    I am so happy that you've reached your normal BMI!! I'm doing a happy dance for you right now! You help me keep up the good fight to reach mine.

    I think it's great that you blogged about your twin. She has had a profound effect on your life and it's good to talk about. Thanks for sharing such an intimate blog with us to let us know more about you!

    Keep up the good work, I hope you are sticking around even though you've "arrived!" emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3313 days ago
  • CAM1325
    Love your blog! Congrats on the weight loss! We are all unique and normal in our own weird way. BTW, you are an awesome SP friend. Keep up the hard work!
    3313 days ago
  • ANDI571
    I like your attitude about your twin. It goes back to our attitude and how we look at things. We can either find comfort or sadness. I am glad you found the comfort.

    Congratulations on your BMI. I was so close to normal before my last weigh in and I never thought about checking after my 2 pound loss this week. I will go right now and see.

    Stay strong, you are awesome. emoticon

    I was 25.7, just barely over. Maybe next week.
    3313 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/23/2010 10:36:01 AM
    I enjoyed this blog. You gave us more information about you! Which in my book is great! I knew your scale had tipped a little but didn't know that this was your normal BMI! Congratulation on reaching this point! You have made a dream come true! emoticon emoticon emoticon

    I am sure your twin is in heaven rejoicing in this also! There will always be that connection I am sure!I feel you have gotten through this knowledge that you were a twin very well! You are you though a very special person Unique and Different but quite normal! Thank God for this and Thank God For You Mary!!! emoticon emoticon
    3313 days ago
    Congratulations on having BOTH your halves reach the normal BMI for your height(s). LOL.

    I like the idea of you as a girl using your twin sister to explain the differences between your two sides.

    It adds complexity and interest to your personal story.

    I'll bet you are both left-brained and right-brained, too.

    Thanks for sharing this about yourself.

    3313 days ago
    Congratulations on reaching the normal BMI. Good job! I don't think your blog is sad. I think you're sharing a very intimate part of you, which allows us to know you even better. Thanks for sharing with us, Mary! And for what it's worth, I don't think it's wierd or morbid that as a child you thought some of the issues were things your twin sent along with you. I think it's kind of sweet. And who knows about the dynamics of twins while still in the womb?
    3313 days ago
    I have a sister who is a twin in the same way. Hmmm. I've never even ask how she feels about that. How odd that we have never even talked about it. I think it is touching that you think of your twin as a comforting memory. Pretty special sentiment.

    Perhaps this is not appropriate, but I chuckled when you spoke of which BMI to choose. And your solution .. oh so wise! You win, win, win on that choice! AND CONGRATULATIONS on your 154 and healthy BMI. emoticon

    I just think you are such a neat person... one of the generous souls in my Spark life.
    3313 days ago
    You are indeed normal and special in so many ways. My daughters are twins and I have seen first hand the twin thing. They are extremely close and seem to read each other's minds even when they are miles and miles apart. You will always have a connection even though you never met her, but you have come to terms with things beautifully and I commend you for that.

    We all have are quirks and we are all unique and that is what makes us all very special!! So give yourself a hug and tell yourself how lucky you are to be YOU!!

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    3313 days ago
    The tangible pathos of your writing is wonderful to read and, as with all pathos, shows how the high peaks are reflected in deep pools. That makes them doubly beautiful.

    Thank you for being the beautiful person, with those depths and thank you for sharing them. I feel privileged to be your spark friend.
    3313 days ago
  • SWAZY33
    ...........•*´¨ ) .•*´¨ ) Mary!!!
    …...•*´¨ ) ..•*¨) -:¦:- .•*´¨ ) ..•*¨) -:¦:-
    ……………….(. ;.•.♥ ♥.•*¨)
    ♥.•*¨-:¦:-. ;.•.♥ YAY!!!!! ♥.•*¨-:¦:-. ;.•.
    …•*¨-:¦:-. (. ;.•.♥*YOU ARE* ♥.•*¨)•*¨-:¦:-.
    …..(¸.•´(•*¨.♥.•*¨) *NORMAL!* (¸.•´(•*¨.♥.•*¨)
    ……….{¸.•´{¸ ;.• .•*¨}.• {¸.•´{¸ ;.• .•*¨}.•
    ……………….•*´¨ ) ..•*¨) -:¦:-
    ………………….;.•.♥ ♥.•*¨ proud of you for hitting
    normal BMI! That is so great!!! My daughter's legs are
    different lengths (but hers from surgery when she was 5 )
    I love genetics and the lil quirks like you mention...
    hair diff on each side...It makes you ...YOU and we like ya
    just the way you are!

    3313 days ago
    I agree with REJ7777...not easy to comment on your blog...losing a twin, even though you never knew her, must be hard in so many cousin had a stillbirth twin and she still talks about her and she is 69 years old! She says that she always feels someone around her and is positive it is her twin! As far as the BMI...way to go on reaching your goal...Mary, you have come so far and I am applauding you on all of your accomplishments! Keep blogging, I've missed them! emoticon emoticon
    3313 days ago
    You think maybe you two merged? I agree with REJ7777. It's hard to comment on the first part because I think there is always a bond with a twin ... and I was laughing so much at the height and hair. When we were made, someone sure had a sense oh humor, right? I'm so glad that you are here!

    emoticon on hitting normal for both sides! Thank God you still have your other quirks!

    Where's the YOU DID IT button???? emoticon emoticon

    3313 days ago
    I agree with REJ7777, this is a humorous and sad blog. The sad being the loss of your twin. Twins have such a special dynamic and bond...I'm sure there has always been a sense of loss not having known your twin sister except in your heart.

    The funny part of this blog speaks of the quirkiness we all seem to possess - physically or otherwise. Genetics are we can inherit so many different characteristics. My sister has two very different ears (one like my mom's, one like my dad's). She has 5 kids and her one son has the same ears -how did that happen that only one child was so blessed? lol

    That's funny about measuring your normal BMI, I would've gone with the 5'7 since I am always looking for an advantage! Great job on meeting your goal....I can only dream of a normal BMI but I know that is an attainable goal, if I stay focused.

    Loved your blog, as usual...I'll be waiting for the next one :)
    3313 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/23/2010 7:48:03 AM
  • REJ7777
    That's not an easy blog to comment on, because between being very sad at some parts and laughing with you in others, I just don't know what to say. I've read how a surviving twin always feels a kind of loneliness for the lost twin, even when it happened before birth. There are even groups of surviving twins that get together as a support group.

    Well, I'm grateful that you survived. You've been a blessing to so many people, including your friends on SP! emoticon

    emoticon Congratulations on having a normal BMI on BOTH sides! emoticon WOW! Normal BMI - it's something I'm still hoping for and dreaming about! In fact, I still have a goal of being "overweight". emoticon

    You've made tremendous progress! Keep up the good work! emoticon
    3313 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/23/2010 8:02:20 AM
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