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Light bulb! (sorry guys, this is a bit of a long one!)

Saturday, June 19, 2010

I've always thought of myself as someone with a healthy outlook on life and, for the most part, I am. However, over the last couple of weeks I realised that my attitude had become a little skewed.

When I started my Spark journey a couple of months ago, I'd just lost a few pounds but was still another few over my 'happy weight' (the weight I never had to try to be at until I turned 30!). When I set up my account I set a goal of getting down to 112 pounds - my happy weight is 117 - but I thought, well, I'll lose a bit extra, so I've got some pounds to play with.

Since I joined, I've been eating better and exercising far more than I have in years. As a knock on effect, I've found myself sleeping better, with more energy and with an almost undentable positive outlook on life.

With my newfound sense of wellbeing, I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised that a couple of things have happened recently that have caused me to re-evaluate my goals:

1. One evening I was sitting in front of my computer catching up on celebrity gossip (I know, I know, total trash but hey, I'm a girl with very few other vices!). I found myself looking at pictures of Cheryl Cole. Cheryl is an undeniably beautiful woman with a figure I suppose, subconsciously, I've aspired to. Suddenly, it really was as though a light switched on in my head - the woman is too thin - I DO NOT WANT TO LOOK LIKE THAT! I contrasted these pictures with some of Katy Perry, a very slender woman, no doubt but one with muscles and curves who looks like she could fight off a cold or dance all night. Hmmm....interesting, I thought.

2. A few days later I was putting on my training shoes to go to the gym. As I tied my lace my leg tensed and I noticed that I had....a calf muscle!!! I've only been flabby (whether big or small) for as long as I can remember so this was big news to me - and I was so happy with it!

I had never thought of myself as one of those women who's scared of muscle but, I started to realise, that's exactly the way I had been. I'd wanted the 'lollipop' look, impossibly skinny with no discernible muscle tone - what was I thinking?!

3. With my new opinions on muscle, I went along to try a Body Pump class. This class is on a Friday morning, so very quiet. In fact, there were only three other people in attendance. The first was a young woman I've seen a lot in the gym, she joined about 18 months ago. I remember seeing her and admiring her commitment. She was heavy and out of shape; she'd come in, set the treadmill on a slight incline and walk - red in the face and sweaty - she never gave up. I started missing the gym so went I went back a few months ago, I was shocked by the change in her - she looked like an athlete and was working out as hard and fast as one ! I remember thinking to myself that she must have worked out and dieted sooo hard. It had never occurred to me that weight training might have played a part in this. I got talking to her and, to my surprise, she told me that she credited a large part of her 50 pound weight loss (and keeping it off) to pumping iron! When I got a close up look at her I realised, yes she's tiny but she is all (extremely feminine) lean muscle.

The other two people were a lovely, retired couple who helped me set up my barbell and explained the format of the class. When we got started, I was not surprised that athlete-girl could lift far heavier weights than me but I was surprised that the older couple were was the instructor (fair enough, you might think, but I should add that she is seven months pregnant!!). I had to stick with the warm-up weights for the entire class - I'm a weakling!!! But am I embarrassed? Nope, not really, just glad I've found out and hugely inspired to stay a healthy size and get strong, rather than skinny!

I'm now at my happy weight and, thanks to the mental strength Spark has given me, I don't want to go below it. Instead I'm starting on a new phase of my journey, focusing on eating right and getting strong. I never in a million years want to look masculine or like a bodybuilder, but I sure don't want to look like a lollipop either!

Thanks for reading, hope you're having a wonderful weekend,

Beccy xx

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It's always amazing how wonderful it is when we find things out about ourselves. It's like finding tiny presents or treasures along the path of life that are full of delights.

    I think you are discovering what most of us knew all along: you are an amazing and wonderful person

    Much love

    2861 days ago
    Wow sounds like that lady is doing wonderful things for herself as you are for trying out a new class and TRYING. keep up the good work and I hope you can maintain where you are now at your happy weight! emoticon
    2861 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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