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Why are kids so cruel?

Thursday, June 17, 2010

My son Bob, is 10 years old. He is very friendly, probably to his detriment, however. Yesterday, I was so distressed at the way his "friends" acted.
See, Bob is not very athletic. He is in theater, like the rest of the family. He likes his electronics and his bike. But he doesn't care for sports. We tried karate too and that was a flop.

This year, despite a fear of water, he agreed (okay, I made him!) to take swimming lessons. He LOVED the first one. He is only just learning to stick his head under water and is a bit nervous, but really working at it. So when we got home from our volunteering at the food pantry, we decided to go the the neighborhood pool to keep working on his new skills. He was thrilled to see two pals from school, but judging by the look they gave him,, I knew this wasn't going to go well. And it didn't. They 'allowed' him to play their game, but really just ignored him the whole time. Poor Bob, seeing the kids desert him, got loud and obnoxious. It was just painful. Some of these boys are more than happy to hang out with Bob most days, so I was floored!
So now my dilemma. Bob has signed up for a summer running program. I was pleased and surprised, but concerned enough to talk to the father in charge. He assured me that beginners will be welcome and it is all in fun, Ha! The first day it began to rain like mad and he kept the kids going until the lightnening alarm went off. Bob was the only beginner and now I am thinking this is all a big mistake.
I know I have to let him go. I understand that this is common with kids. My daughters went through it too and came out stronger, but I am not sure I can go through all this drama again!

Anyway, he will have a good day today! His gamer buddy from Drama is coming over!

Thanks for letting me vent!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I hope you both were able to deal with the dilemma as best as you could
    3793 days ago
    I know exactly what this is like! My daughter goes through this all the time. Luckily for us, her personality is such that she doesn't really care what the other kids think. But she is lonely at school because there's no on like her there.
    3977 days ago
  • DAWNO64
    Oh, I feel for you both. I was usually an outcast as a child, since I was a major shy bookworm, and took more than my share of grief from other kids. And my DS was overly friendly, intelligent, and outspoken, so I watched him deal with this, also. Let him decide how much he's willing to take and assure him that he's a great kid. Now that DS is in college, he's found many more kids like him, and also doesn't care as much what the "mean kids" think
    3977 days ago
    Just let him call the shots unless you see something that really isn't okay. Not everyone is nice in this world and those skills he picks up from having to deal with mean boys and weird coaches will serve him well later when he has mean coworkers and weird bosses.

    I went to a middle school with a bunch of girls who were all my friends from preschool up to 6th grade when they suddenly they didn't want to hang out with anyone they didn't think was popular. Nothing they said really stung me because I didn't want to be their friend, but my mom didn't believe me when I said that those girls didn't like me now and insisted that I be nice and friendly towards them. I still had to invite them to parties and my mom was always trying to get all of us to hang out so I could be more popular too. Your kid may not be able to fully articulate what is going on, but you will get clues from him and you should listen to them. I just told my mom that the popular girls were "cliquey", I didn't tell her that I couldn't relate to them and thought all their gossip was really boring.
    3977 days ago
    Kids are very cruel, but they will work it out. Let the kids work things out for themselves, just guide him along the way. A mom's heart is so tender and is easily crushed, but it can swell up again when watching with pride as their children learn from their experience and grow.
    3977 days ago
  • no profile photo SHANNONSTILLS
    You have to let him experience and deal with this. Or he will not know how to handle it later in life and that will be a HUGE issue.

    Your job is to ensure him that he is great just the way he is, that it is more important that he stays true to himself, and be the support that he needs. Allow him to vent to you, validate his feelings and show him the proper way to deal with it. DO NOT feed into the drama.
    3977 days ago
    Mom always feel thier child's pain and it never goes away no matter what age they are.
    3977 days ago
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