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Monday, June 07, 2010

Hi fellow Sparkpeople.

Just need to get some things off my chest. I am at a crossroads, with my realtionship that is.
I don't know if I am upset with my boyfriend or myself. He went out of town to take care of this father, but when he came back I didn't see him for 3 days. Now, we talk everyday sometimes 3 and 4 times a day. He didn't come see me and just assumed I was coming over to his house. That's cool and all but it would be nice if he had ome to see me.

Well he did come to see me and I was so upset I couldn't even talk to him. I hardly said 5 sentences. I feel bad because the more I think about it, I am feeling like our relationship is going nowhere. I think we are just at different points in our lives. It hasn't changed much in the past couple of years. I feel he is fine with the way things are. I, however, am not. I do love him and I know he loves me. I just feel uneasy.

I am trying to see his side of things and be as objective as possible. Ah yeah, we all know how easy it is to be objective in your own life. I know. Good luck with that, right. (chuckle)
I am trying to figure out is it him or is it me. This whole selfdiscovery thing is a trip. I don't want project the inadequacies I feel about myself on him and ruin my relationship. I know I need to talk to him.

Oh yeah thats the other thing. CONFRONTATION.....not great with that. Very hard for me, especially my personal life. Work life I'm better. I'm no marshmellow by any means, however I find it very uncomfortable.

I have not eaten up the world over it thus far. Great milestone for me. It is eating at me though. I don't know hy this is so dang hard. I guess I'm afraid of what he may say. I just need to put on my BIG GIRL panties stand tall and have the blasted talk with him.

Thanks as always in advance for reading my blog.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Some advice from an experienced woman:)

    Continue to work on yourself and making yourself feel good as a person. I know that may seem selfish, but it has been my experience that men get bored when they see that we get bored with ourselves. Then the next thing you know you are getting bored with the relationship and then they go find someone one else who is "interesting" and thinks they are interesting.

    Taking care of yourself makes you feel good and it trickles down into other parts of your life. Confidence is sexy:) Go get 'em! Here's a good book to either help you with your current relationship or as advanced lesson for the next one, How to Light His Fire by Ellen Kriedman. It's an old book, but the information is wise. Good luck!
    2868 days ago
    perhaps you should just have a conversation with him, about how you feel, and what you want in the future, a good frank discussion would clear the air for you, and afterwards you will know which way you have to go forward, hope things work out for you. emoticon
    2902 days ago
    You don't need to be confrontational. express your feelings to him and tell him what you NEED from him. be specific. then see how he responds, not by words but by actions. don't assume he knows what is important to you. people don't always get it. but if he WON'T be the person you NEED then you need to think about your relationship. life is short.
    2904 days ago
    I have to agree with the others, writing down your feelings does two things, it helps you get it off your chest and then when you re read it, it can be a great benefit to help you see yourself and may be the underlying feelings that are making you feel uncomfortable to the surface. I have found that there are times when I am very upset and lash out at my hubby, and after I feel terrible only to realize it wasn't him at all, he was just the conduit that fulled the release.
    emoticon one step at a time. Do what works best for you.
    2904 days ago
    Maybe you should write down what you want to say. It's a good starting point. I'm not always good with trying to get my feelings out to my boyfriend, but writing them down helps me organize my thoughts and be mindful of how I want to come across to him! AND make sure you're having your conversations when you're not upset with him. Give yourself time to calm down, which I know from experience isn't always easy to do!
    2904 days ago
  • PUPIX305
    Confrontation was not my strong point. Yet, i have managed to get better by taking it one step at a time. I use to just avoid a conversation because of the confrontation. I am actually pretty good at it now, specially with my husband. Try replaying the conversation in your head, writting down what you want to tell him and rehersing it... yes I know it sounds funny but it makes it much easier when you actually sit down to talk. Hope this helps... :)
    2904 days ago
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