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And He Won't Even Look At Me

Sunday, June 06, 2010

So, I made a pact with a fellow Sparker to get out and do things alone...especially hard at the moment. But, I went out Friday night by myself to see a band play (my friend of over a decade is the singer). I knew that we wouldn't hang out, but the thing was to actually go somewhere by myself, and just get out. Mission accomplished. Oh, and I made sure to rock a slightly new top with a denim mini skirt and red flats.

Anyhow, met a cool girl, a friend of a friend and hung out with her much of then night. Got hit on...(oh yeah, I am still a girl someone might like I guess...) listened to good music, switched bars after the band to the one with a DJ. Really not going horribly. UNTIL...

So new friend, whom we shall refer to as Beauty School Knockout, needed a pack of smokes (really a nasty habit) and it was really warm in the bar/lounge thing, so we walked back to the other place where the band played, the neared place the sold them, which happens to be a tobacco lounge as well. So I go in with Beauty School Knockout, she gets her pack, we step back outside. And then I see him. Well technically I see the back of Art Guy. Because you see, Art Guy has apparently already seen me. Let me explain. When standing in front of a crowded bar with around 30 or more people, you will always see the profile at least of everyone as they chat, talk etc. UNLESS they don't want you to see them. N'est pas? Oh, but I would know him anywhere (you know I would)...the hat (and I don't mean the baseball kind), camera in back pocket, body, jeans, etc. He refuses to turn, and I realize that after I have finally noticed him, I am close enough that not only has he seen me and BSK walking down the block (I did not see him among the crowd), he is no less than 5 feet from me and knows my voice, knows I am there, and angles himself just right to not budge. Then, he moves about 20 feet away, continuing to angling himself so that I would never get a look at his face, nor he at mine, but a friend (whom I have never met as I recall) gets to do the occasional glance at me.

Did I miss something? When did I become Medusa that can turn a guy to stone with one glance? Nothing like messing with a girl's head and making her feel hideous (even if likely unintentional and I know really untrue). Okay so that was an especially crumby thing to do...usually "I can't see you anymore" does not literally mean I can't bare to see you anymore, or is that even an accurate translation? And then why if he is putting himself through hell, and I am in hell, why is there a hell at all? AAGGHHH! So stupid! The kicker...not a bad guy, just doing really really stupid crap. And the worst part, I can dislike the latest actions, but a big part of me just cannot dislike him. It would be so much easier if I could, but alas, I just cannot. Oh man, this is going to be a tough act to follow.

In the word of my oldest guy friend, "Boys are weird. What the hell?!"


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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Boys just suck sometimes lol I told you my story with my husband and maybe he'll come crawling back soon too. It's really his loss. I know you know all this because you know it all J/K but maybe with everything going on and your transformation you should use this time for just you. And if someone comes along great if not it's more fun for your hot single butt. Keep your chin up high and have fun!! emoticon
    3209 days ago
    Oh Sunshine,

    Seriously- What an immature guy. Does he really need to add all of the drama around a difficult situation?

    One of my favorite lines to think about when dealing with "boys of this nature" is from Sense and Sensibility where one of the sisters just finds out that an admirer who was INSANE over her and then one day just falls off the face of the earth....only for her to randomly see him at a party where he completely blows her off.
    She learns the next day (as he returns all of the letters she had sent him- a locket of her hair- that he was engaged to a rich woman.

    Anyway, as she is crying her heart out on the bed, an older woman says "He's not the only man worth having"

    Granted, it brought her zero comfort at the time...and come to think of it, when I'm crying my heart out on a bed, it has brought me little comfort as well EXCEPT that in my heart, I know its true.

    You will meet someone worth your heart and your time.

    You are too beautiful inside and out not to.


    3210 days ago
    Kudos for going out alone. You got hit on! Focus on the positive. Personally I think this guy is scared of the way you make him feel. He's a runner (emotionally). Back in the day somebody asked me why I dated jerks when I deserved better, honestly because I knew I wouldn't get attached enough to get hurt. Didn't art guy usually date "giggly immature girls"? His present actions are immature. I have 2 teens and a post teen (21 but acts 18) and I see these type of behaviors within their groups. You hang in there Lissa. You are a worthy catch and I applaud you for getting out and about.
    I will also add this, before I met my husband I dated "Army guy", he was supposed to be "the one". Through a series of events, I walked away. Over a year later he still emails and texts me knowing I am married, very happily married, wanting to see me because "he misses me", "knows I make his life better just being in it", "regrets he got scared and let me get away".
    I think with time your art guy and my army guy will have a lot in common. They'll both want something out of their reach. You hang in there Girl! Best wishes to you. Something better awaits you. My husband is the bomb! I know I am loved and cherished EVERY day.

    3210 days ago
    could write for a few paragraphs but it all comes down to this, men boys dogs cats... they are all controled by that little dangling control stick in one way or another and with some of them they are totally out of control and downright stupid. Easy to say but there are lots out there with better wiring. Hard part is just finding one. cheers to you for getting out there. I dont think I ever would have been able to go to a bar or club alone. lunch alone or a movie is a hard enough.
    3210 days ago
    That's the best part of being single and getting out there!

    There's more fish in the sea and now you know for sure what you DON'T want and toss that one back! You know you looked white hot and in the end, mission accomplished and it wasn't so bad! :)
    3210 days ago
    Hey Babe,
    Just catching up on your posts. I think that your move is going to be just the thing for you. This guy, as nice as he may be, is a real jerk to be acting like that, whatever the reason behind it. You sound like you were looking good, so, that in itself is a good 'in your face'. He sounds very juvenile. You've always struck me as a Hepburn (K, not A) or a Bacall. He is just not even in your league. Everything happens for a reason, I really believe that. Feel free to write any time, always here for you.
    3211 days ago
    This blog entry was awesome. You are very fun to read! Sorry about the guy and what he is pulling. And even though its probably the last thing you want to hear, you deserve better.
    3211 days ago
  • no profile photo ALICEART2010
    What a TOTAL LOOSER. I never met him and I don't like him. Not a loss.

    3211 days ago
    I have no idea what his behavior is really really odd though.
    3211 days ago
    Yeah, the older I get, the more I must agree with you. Boys/men are the hardest creatures in the world to figure out. If anyone knows the secret, please fill me in.
    3211 days ago
    Brave of you to take the initiative and go out and have fun.
    Hmmm about art guy. Perhaps he didn't actually see you at all and was trying to get a better look at something else.
    At any rate, just enjoy your new weight loss persona and be happy!
    3211 days ago
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