I am not sure of your religious beliefs... but My Mom and Dad were smokers for yeaaars... and they both tried to quit numerous times, and failed..
They both prayed to God to help them, and take the urge from them.. because they knew they couldn't do it alone. He did.. they both have been smoke free for about 10 years. God works miracles, and makes the impossible possible. I am going to pray he gives you the strength to really do what your heart is desiring. You can do it!! Fall back on those that love you for support!