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I Don't Even Know Where to Start

Monday, May 31, 2010

You all know by now that I rather enjoy the company of a certain individual. (If you don't, look at a couple of previous blogs. You are missing out. LOL) Well, Friday was once again date night, which equaled a very excited me.

It started off well, and only got better. Big event going on so we attended, saw a friend play, looked at some art, saw more people, lots of introductions. Then during one introduction, a slip. "This is my girlfriend..." Did I hear that right, I thought. I let it slide for a few minutes thinking it was probably a mistake. Standing at the top of some stairs, he brought it up, said it slipped sort of, asked how I felt about it, and more or less explained that it was a I don't take things further and get really intimate without, as he said, "making it official". So, this was just a let's be exclusive thing. Well, not like I was seeing anyone else. Okay. :)

Then birthday for sister, picked on about weight, bought a size 4 denim skirt which didn't help the previous statement, blah, blah, blah, etc. Left...Hello, Date 4.

Hmmm, you seem funny. Is it you are still too tired from last nights bands (the event is 4 days), or what is going on in that head of yours? It was early, so we sat in the park and hung out. Art Guy seemed to come out of it a bit. Went to eat. And then...the talk. (Don't hold your breath. We didn't end things.) Conversation went something like, paraphrasing here, 'I don't feel like I have enough to offer as a boyfriend. I feel bad for this, that and the other. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Etc.' I got rather confused throughout and then it got clear.

Okay, I understand that you want to better yourself in some ways, but why does that mean that someone can't support you as you do that and hang around with you? Why do you think that you aren't worthy of someone being nice to you? (I really don't think he does.) Neither of us planned to meet and certainly wasn't expecting it. I even found out last night, he had said pretty much decided to not seek out anyone this year to "straighten himself out", and then as he put it, I "dropped out of nowhere". NOT MY FAULT! My head says, dumb boy!

Ladies, can we agree previous relationships did a number on this one? (Says the last one from a couple years ago called him a loser constantly and she said their entire relationship was a mistake, which made him feel worse. Apparently she had become an alcoholic.)

What it boiled down to is he doesn't want to stop seeing me, the title thing scares him. Like I need a freaking title. I'm not 16. He did admit that I am the only girl he has ever dated that is close to his age. Yep, I can tell! We are not talking about some slacker. No. Super talented, college graduate, productive member of society. But in so Cal., especially among alot of the young girls, objects are what mean something, and he is not big on having things, but he likes to be able to do things. But we are talking about a troubled economy where everyone struggles. Reality check, Art Guy. You are dating an adult, and not a dumb giggling one that just turned 21.

So, where do I stand with all this? I call it turtle speed. It's as it was with a few twists, and we know even more about each other. So, honest, sweet, caring, and nice. I think he is worth hanging around a bit longer for and seeing what shakes out because of how happy he makes me, how comfortable and natural it all is with him, how long I can talk to him for and the hours that fly by doing it whether in person or not, and for the fact that sometimes we don't have to talk at all in certain moments and not feel weird (if that doesn't sound to bizarre). The rest...well, I don't kiss and tell, especially when it means something. ;) I did sleep at his place last night, and I do mean sleep. He asked, I stayed. The end. I don't know what that means, and I am not one to over-analyze. That apparently is his domain. For now, I am perfectly happy. I do wish he hadn't pressed fast forward and then rewind. I rather that hadn't happened at all, but what's a girl to do? He didn't run away. He opened up and told me what was in his head. Art Guy even showed me his place, beyond the studio, which he was rather shy about because of the size. He just did the average guy freak out, I think. I still adore him and think he is a great guy.

Okay, give me what you got.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I know that there are two entries following this one - I just haven't been online to read anyone's blogs the past couple of days. So I'm not going to say anything about this 'til I read more, except that I agree with you about not being concerned about labels in situations like these.

    Off to read on.
    3241 days ago
    My guy was definitely damaged goods when we found one another. He will tell you that too. We had both come to a place in life where we had decided (separately, of course) that we were better off alone if it meant having to deal with someone else's crap and abuse. It took some time to put away that baggage and it was purely a "I trust you and know I have nothing to worry about but ...." type of situations. Even at one point I told him " If I hear *her*'s name one more time I may scream". This was met by deer in the headlights stare (he didn't realize he was doing it). This was a long way to say, it takes time to heal old scars. Women are usually better at it than guys when the scars are deep. You're a lovely person Lisa ~ he's a lucky guy. Like you said guys scare easy. :)
    3242 days ago
    Yes, he definitely sounds confused. Do you feel like he is telling you the whole reason why is feeling that way? Or do you think maybe there is something else? Obviously he is crazy about you or he wouldn't be spending so much time with you. I'm glad you two are happy. As long as that's the case who needs a title right?
    3242 days ago
    SOunds like a great relationship...Keep going. He will come around.
    3243 days ago
  • no profile photo ALICEART2010
    LOL. "Give me what you got." Okay so he definitely sounds a little bit confused. True, boys are more sensitive than girls and they do take longer to heal from unhealthy relationships than girls do (from my experience). At least it sounds like YOU know what you're doing. Just keep going until you can't keep going anymore! As long as he makes you happy then I think it's so wonderful that you have each other.

    Mr. Right you better hurry up!

    3243 days ago
  • BELIEVE1974
    Sounds like you are in's a wonderful thing happy for you! Love is the best feeling in the world! I adore my husband, and we have been together for 15 years. emoticon
    3243 days ago
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