You all know by now that I rather enjoy the company of a certain individual. (If you don't, look at a couple of previous blogs. You are missing out. LOL) Well, Friday was once again date night, which equaled a very excited me.
It started off well, and only got better. Big event going on so we attended, saw a friend play, looked at some art, saw more people, lots of introductions. Then during one introduction, a slip. "This is my girlfriend..." Did I hear that right, I thought. I let it slide for a few minutes thinking it was probably a mistake. Standing at the top of some stairs, he brought it up, said it slipped sort of, asked how I felt about it, and more or less explained that it was a I don't take things further and get really intimate without, as he said, "making it official". So, this was just a let's be exclusive thing. Well, not like I was seeing anyone else. Okay. :)
Then birthday for sister, picked on about weight, bought a size 4 denim skirt which didn't help the previous statement, blah, blah, blah, etc. Left...Hello, Date 4.
Hmmm, you seem funny. Is it you are still too tired from last nights bands (the event is 4 days), or what is going on in that head of yours? It was early, so we sat in the park and hung out. Art Guy seemed to come out of it a bit. Went to eat. And then...the talk. (Don't hold your breath. We didn't end things.) Conversation went something like, paraphrasing here, 'I don't feel like I have enough to offer as a boyfriend. I feel bad for this, that and the other. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Etc.' I got rather confused throughout and then it got clear.
Okay, I understand that you want to better yourself in some ways, but why does that mean that someone can't support you as you do that and hang around with you? Why do you think that you aren't worthy of someone being nice to you? (I really don't think he does.) Neither of us planned to meet and certainly wasn't expecting it. I even found out last night, he had said pretty much decided to not seek out anyone this year to "straighten himself out", and then as he put it, I "dropped out of nowhere". NOT MY FAULT! My head says, dumb boy!
Ladies, can we agree previous relationships did a number on this one? (Says the last one from a couple years ago called him a loser constantly and she said their entire relationship was a mistake, which made him feel worse. Apparently she had become an alcoholic.)
What it boiled down to is he doesn't want to stop seeing me, the title thing scares him. Like I need a freaking title. I'm not 16. He did admit that I am the only girl he has ever dated that is close to his age. Yep, I can tell! We are not talking about some slacker. No. Super talented, college graduate, productive member of society. But in so Cal., especially among alot of the young girls, objects are what mean something, and he is not big on having things, but he likes to be able to do things. But we are talking about a troubled economy where everyone struggles. Reality check, Art Guy. You are dating an adult, and not a dumb giggling one that just turned 21.
So, where do I stand with all this? I call it turtle speed. It's as it was with a few twists, and we know even more about each other. So, honest, sweet, caring, and nice. I think he is worth hanging around a bit longer for and seeing what shakes out because of how happy he makes me, how comfortable and natural it all is with him, how long I can talk to him for and the hours that fly by doing it whether in person or not, and for the fact that sometimes we don't have to talk at all in certain moments and not feel weird (if that doesn't sound to bizarre). The rest...well, I don't kiss and tell, especially when it means something. ;) I did sleep at his place last night, and I do mean sleep. He asked, I stayed. The end. I don't know what that means, and I am not one to over-analyze. That apparently is his domain. For now, I am perfectly happy. I do wish he hadn't pressed fast forward and then rewind. I rather that hadn't happened at all, but what's a girl to do? He didn't run away. He opened up and told me what was in his head. Art Guy even showed me his place, beyond the studio, which he was rather shy about because of the size. He just did the average guy freak out, I think. I still adore him and think he is a great guy.
Okay, give me what you got.