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More negatives... or a 'test'...

Saturday, May 29, 2010

So as I went back to Facebook, I noticed that he has now removed me as a friend - perhaps to 'hurt' me back and funny thing is it does hurt because of the relationship I had with his mother. Me and his mom were so very close and I know she'd hate it if we were not getting along... I sent him a very 'neutral note saying the following'...

"I guess I have my answer about whether or not you have time to look at my car... no worries...

It hurts that you removed me as a friend - and well, it's your choice and we all have a right to our choices.

I wish you all the best Art and still love you guys... even if you don't feel the same way. Your mom is always on my mind and I know she is still with us... and with me and proud of where I am in life now.

I just wish you didn't feel as you did, but I can't change how you feel. Take care. "

So here I sit in the house today... thinking a lot about Rita now because of this, but still trying to remain positive. It just worries me as I still have a friendship and owe so much to Dan her husband (and Art's dad)... that I am not sure how things will go when I visit in July. I always stop in but now worried about the negative reception I might get.

I am having feelings of guilt coming up thinking that he's 'mad' at me because he maybe found out how his dad helped me out financially to get here in Ottawa and how I still owe him and have yet to even start paying him back... It's 'next' on my list... but urgh those negative feelings...

I'm going to pray tonight and take time to talk to Rita and ask for her guidance on this matter. My visit is not until July 2nd so there's time...

I know Art might be experiencing some of his own difficulties and hurt as he lost a very close best friend (who was aslo a friend of mine) in November, then his grandfather... who was like my own 'dad'... Sometimes people deal with hurt in negative ways and I know I wasn't always how I am now and I will pray for him too, so that he can learn better ways to deal with his emotions... He will have his son visiting from out West soon so I'm sure that will help him (as he hasn't seen him for so long)...

Art is in the back on the left... and then there's the rest of his family, my family... His brother Shane next to him and Danny, Devin (Art's son) and Rita ... my forever best friend! Aunt by marriage to us and godmother to Megan. How I miss her!!

This was me with Rita when she received the nomination for volunteering while she was at the hospital, not too long before she left us.

My sister, friend Joanne, Rita and I at the last River Valley festival she was able to attend in 2006 (before she became ill)...

I miss you so much Rita! I pray that you can send warm thoughts for healing for your son, and that all will be well when I visit in July! I can not even fathom the thought of not being able to go to your home... where your memorial was built and where I hope to get to visit...

Thank God for great memories... Love YOU always Rita! Help me to stay strong and on the path of continuing to move forward in positive ways!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post

    Time heals, I'm sure you certainly can relate to that. So for now, let things take their course and continue on your own very positive and very promising path.
    2917 days ago
    i'm sure it was just one bad conversation and that all will be well soon! very nice message you sent! emoticon
    2917 days ago
    This is sad Helene but you left a wonderful message and have left the door open for him.
    I'm sure given time he'll come back to you and you need only make a call b4 visiting to see how the land lies. Besides your relationship with Dan need not be affected hun

    Don't let your memories be affected by this emoticon
    2918 days ago
    As much as we hope that the children of people we care about will continue to have relationships after they are gone. Sometimes if just doesn't happen. Sometimes the person you shared in common was all that you had in common and when they are gone there just isn't anything to hold together a freindship or relationship.

    Sometimes it because you are to much a reminder of the person who is past. Or the person was really the only connection. Try not to take it to personally. Remember the wonderful memories you have of your friend and don't think to much about the relationship with him.

    When my grandmother, actually my mothers step mother died, her son grandually distance himself from my mom. Until after a few years the contact was only a chritmas card sent by his wife and then nothing. Once grandma was gone, there just wasn't any reason in his eye to keep in contact, even though they had lived together since he was 11 years old. For him once his mother wasn't there, there was no reason to stay in touch with his step sister.

    2918 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/29/2010 8:53:26 PM
  • NANNER2121
    You sent him a very powerful message. Good for you.
    People react to stress in different ways and I am sure this is just his way of temporarily closing down so he can deal with all the emotions.
    As the saying goes:
    "For a retreating foe, build bridges of silver."
    He'll come around - may take a while - but I'm sure he will.
    Meanwhile enjoy your memories and don't let him take those away.
    2918 days ago
    You are so right about dealing with the loss of a loved one negatively. When I loss my mom & brother it just seemed like it piled up on me & I became distant. I still am distant but relearning how to connect with people. God is beginning a good work in me & I am not as scared as I used to be but I am going afraid & with the Lord on my side. I pray you peace in this matter & know that God has already worked it out on your behalf just don't doubt His power. Cause God has everything & that means everything belongs to us! In the name of Jesus! Amen.

    Take care & God bless!

    2918 days ago
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