Lord help me.....

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

So, most of you know that I have chronic health issues along with spinal issues needing surgery which tend to exacerbate those issues. I was on a 2 month disability leave from work where I have good disability insurance. I went back to work full force in March. Shouldn't have, should have done it more slowly. In any case, 2 weeks in I started missing work because it was just too much. Submitted another Claim with my disability insurance company for reduced hours. I have been working 30 hours a week rather than 40 since that time. They messed up my Claim royally and I am down close to 2k at this point. I can't pay rent. I am so frustrated and so tired and so just pi$$ed off!!! I have escalated the Claim to my Benefits and HR managers as well as the supervisor of the young lady working it. But seriously....why don't people just do their jobs correctly?!?!?! I disdain laziness when it comes to work one is being paid to do and now I not only have to deal with all the crap I deal with every day but also the fact that I don't have enough money to pay my rent!!!! Seriously?!?!?! Really?!?!?! I have been a stellar employee for over 6 years...c'mon...please just get it done!

I just really need to vent I guess. I'm so dam* tired...just exhausted. I am at this moment tryin to talk my body into getting in the shower and going to work. I'm very good at looking at the bright side of things...very good at thinking about how bad other people have it in comparison to me...I'm just so done! I want some freakin peace! I can't feel okay when I don't know how I'm going to afford my meds or pay my rent and I don't deserve to have to worry about it. I've worked hard my whole life and have always made it a motto to do the right thing no matter how hard it is.

Okay...I guess I'm done...I will get in the shower and do the right thing and force my body to get to work, no matter how hard it is...cuz it's the right thing...I will continue to look on the bright side and stay in hope and trust and faith....but dam* it...someone or something better come through for me very quickly before I loose my freakin mind!!!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    wow..thanks all...30 hours might be too much...but i really think i could do it if i didn't have this extra stress of the money...and I don't want to go back out on full disability...i'll have another 12 weeks of that easily with the surgery....i really hate being out...i love my work peeps and love my job...and you're right i would never do that kind of half ass work...i would sack anyone who worked for me like that!!! thanks for the thoughts and the love and the hugs....i still don't know how I'm gonna get out of this funk..but, im determined...i'll do it...and today!!!
    3660 days ago
    So sorry you're going through this. I hope the situation resolves itself soon!
    3660 days ago
    I never liked it when people told me "other people have it worse" like its supposed to magically stop you from being annoyed at the situation you're currently in. Sometimes you need a good vent and a wallow, and not worry about the people who have it worse than you. Be annoyed and then create an action plan. You'll land on your feet, its not like you are being irresponsible about all of this.
    3660 days ago
    I hope it gets better for you soon.
    3660 days ago
  • MSJAP1
    Sounds as though you went back too soon and 30 hours still seems a lot for you to cope with! I agree if people did their jobs correctly there wouldn't be the crap to deal with. After all I bet you do your job well even though you suffer with health issues. I always used to say, in similar circumstances, if I had done my job the way some do, I would have been sacked!!!

    Great news on the weight loss though and I hope they sort it out very soon! emoticon
    3660 days ago
    I sent you a spark message. Hugs, Jetta
    3660 days ago
  • JIBBIE49
    Glad u have good disability insurance at work. emoticon
    3660 days ago
  • LINDA-
    Maybe you can talk to your doctor about putting you back on full disability until you can work full time without effects on your health. I wish you luck with the outcome!
    3660 days ago
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