Lord help me.....
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
So, most of you know that I have chronic health issues along with spinal issues needing surgery which tend to exacerbate those issues. I was on a 2 month disability leave from work where I have good disability insurance. I went back to work full force in March. Shouldn't have, should have done it more slowly. In any case, 2 weeks in I started missing work because it was just too much. Submitted another Claim with my disability insurance company for reduced hours. I have been working 30 hours a week rather than 40 since that time. They messed up my Claim royally and I am down close to 2k at this point. I can't pay rent. I am so frustrated and so tired and so just pi$$ed off!!! I have escalated the Claim to my Benefits and HR managers as well as the supervisor of the young lady working it. But seriously....why don't people just do their jobs correctly?!?!?! I disdain laziness when it comes to work one is being paid to do and now I not only have to deal with all the crap I deal with every day but also the fact that I don't have enough money to pay my rent!!!! Seriously?!?!?! Really?!?!?! I have been a stellar employee for over 6 years...c'mon...please just get it done!
I just really need to vent I guess. I'm so dam* tired...just exhausted. I am at this moment tryin to talk my body into getting in the shower and going to work. I'm very good at looking at the bright side of things...very good at thinking about how bad other people have it in comparison to me...I'm just so done! I want some freakin peace! I can't feel okay when I don't know how I'm going to afford my meds or pay my rent and I don't deserve to have to worry about it. I've worked hard my whole life and have always made it a motto to do the right thing no matter how hard it is.
Okay...I guess I'm done...I will get in the shower and do the right thing and force my body to get to work, no matter how hard it is...cuz it's the right thing...I will continue to look on the bright side and stay in hope and trust and faith....but dam* it...someone or something better come through for me very quickly before I loose my freakin mind!!!