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Birthday Binge - Ended

Monday, May 24, 2010

So, my birthday was last week. emoticon I definitely used it as an excuse to eat very very poorly. For more than one day. Which while I gave myself permission to do it, felt a lot like cheating. I felt guilty about eating a lot of the things that I did end up putting in my mouth. And yet I kept doing it. For five days.

*sigh* Wow, I didn't realize it had been that many days. I tried on Saturday and Sunday to reign myself in a little bit, but definitely still was over the edge.

There is so much crap food in our house right now. We had a party on Friday night and 18 of my friends came and brought snacks - granted, they tried to be healthier, but there are still many things that I would not have purchased in my cupboards. And if I know it's there, chances are I'm going to eat it just to get rid of it. It feels very wrong to me to throw things away that people paid for and that there is nothing wrong with.

This is especially true if someone made it from scratch, like the delicious carrot cake my dear friend made as a birthday cake for me. There was a lot leftover and even though I asked people to take a piece or two home, we still ended up keeping 7 pieces. Guess how many are left now? 2.

To say that the scale is back up is an understatement. I have put myself back by WEEKS with this birthday binge.

What I'm thinking about now is
-How do I manage special occassions and events in the future?
-How do I better manage social situations where eating is major component of the gathering?
-How do I not make myself feel deprived when I know there are all kinds of yummy things I'm not eating?

I'm feeling sad about my lack of self control over the past several days and wondering if I can really make these changes into lifestyle habits. I know it's hard to change years and years of eating habits, and that I really haven't been working on it that long compared to some. It's upsetting and frustrating to me to look at all the hard work I've done and how easy it was to erase it with a few days of less than vigilant eating. I don't want to weigh everything and measure everything for the rest of my life. I want to get to the point where I know what a typical portion is and that I can safely estimate it. I want to be able to eat birthday cake and not be freaking out inside that I'm undoing all my work. I want to not be obsessed with food, which I feel like I am right now.

I know I will get to these goals if I just keep doing the work and making the small changes. No one said this was going to be an easy road. Change will come, I just have to stay committed and learn from the past few days and make better choices in the future.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hope you enjoyed other elements of your birthday. i binge a lot for some occasions but i have learned to pack healthy snacks when i travel to help offset some of it. I also started bringing more whole food "treats" - muffins with whole grain flours, bars made with oats, brownies w applesauce.

    a few relatives and coworkers have started doing the same thing. eventually i hope we area surrounded by healthier options.
    3279 days ago
  • _VALEO_
    First of all, happy belated birthday!

    You have been doing great, and you hold all the cards. As you said, it takes time, be patient with yourself.

    I am with you, I don't like and can't throw away good food.
    Have you thought of giving the food you don't want in your cabinets to a charity next to where you live?

    3279 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/27/2010 6:00:13 PM
    Cake goes stale & gets thrown out in our house. I refuse to essentially 'rub it onto my hips' by eating it. At some point, you will corrolate the consumption with the result. Until then, forgive yourself & try again. You are worth it.

    3281 days ago
    It's not the piece of cake that gave you a setback it was the five days of "hey I'm celebrating" that gave you a setback. It's something I battle every holiday season, with work parties all December long it's easy for you to think "it's the holidays". Well no, it's not the "holidays" it's Christmas. One day, not the month of December.
    3281 days ago
    Hi DrSunshine...

    I think you are doing awesome! I think the fact that you realized that you went overboard with the eating means that you *are* changing your habits! I bet it won't take weeks to be back where you started prior to your birthday week. By the way Happy Birthday!

    The most important thing you've done here is recognize that what you've been doing isn't sustainable for your goals. That to me is a sign of a shift in a lifestyle habit. Now if you had not recognized it and kept going that would be a different story all together.

    -How do I manage special occassions and events in the future?

    I bet there's some articles on that here on SP. I have a hard time too. Food is such comfort.

    -How do I better manage social situations where eating is major component of the gathering?

    Can you suggest/bring healthier options? Make a game out of choosing the healthiest meal on the menu. Only eat 1/2 of the portion they give you?

    -How do I not make myself feel deprived when I know there are all kinds of yummy things I'm not eating?

    The thing with this one is, I don't deny myself food. Ever. I try and make sensible choices most of the time but if there's something I really want to have-I will have a fraction of a serving (especially if its really bad). I tend to want things that I "can't" have more if I can't have them that way my inner child can't whine because she can't have it.

    You are doing awesome and deserve to celebrate now and then don't beat yourself up over a mistake. Its time to move on.
    3281 days ago
    you can do this and you can control the special occassions by giving yourself permission to eat the BD cake and or the dips made for the holidays====however it's only one event and when its over its over.
    I make people take it home and if they refuse---it gets thrown out and i make that choice very clear. First rule of thumb is don't leave it around.
    3282 days ago
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