I've lost my compass...
Friday, May 21, 2010
During the past couple of weeks I have found myself thinking that it's time to make a drastic career change. I am really happy with the way things are going in my personal life. I am slowly but surely learning how to eat and exercise in a way that will help me get healthy and after two and a half years of trying for a baby, we're getting very excited about the baby we're expecting in October.
We're also moving to a house in a very cool neighbourhood with lots of parks, neat little shops, a fantastic bike path and a swimming pool nearby. It will save us both a tremendous amount of commuting time.
So, everything is coming along quite nicely. Except for one thing. My job. It's really getting to me. I am literally counting down the work days until I go on maternity leave. I'm also dreading going back when my time off is over.
It's frustrating, because I actually enjoy the work that I do. My problem has to do with my boss. She's extremely difficult to work with. This week I found myself in tears at my desk because of the way she has been treating me. She has a very passive aggressive way of dealing with people and someone on our team is always in her bad books. This week it was my turn. Even when she's being nice to me, I hate to see the way she treats my co-workers. She takes credit for our work and treats us like garbage.
I have known for a long time that the corporate world is not for me. A few years ago I managed to leave a corporate job and start my own business. I didn't make much money, but between working for myself and working at temp jobs I managed to piece together a living.
Then I moved to a new city and my business just didn't get off the ground here.
Two years ago I stumbled into another corporate position. I knew that it wasn't exactly my life's ambition, but I also knew that it paid very well and would provide a stable source of income while we tried to start a family. I think my patience for my office job is wearing off.
This week I have found myself mindlessly overeating. I slipped into that auto pilot mode where I shove bite after bite of food into my mouth without tasting it or even realizing what I'm doing. I know it's my way of trying to numb myself to what's happening at work.
Clearly it's time for a change. If I want to start a new career after the baby is born, I'm going to have to do the groundwork now. The question is...what is it that I really want to do? I have many creative passions, but can I make a living at any of them?
My goal for the next month is to find a sense of direction and stop wandering aimlessly down the wrong career path.
Any suggestions for finding, or creating a fulfilling job would be appreciated!