What Happened Today at Target
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
This afternoon, I was shopping at Target. I put some personal items in my basket, then went on to the groceries. I went through my mental shopping list and headed for the bread aisle for those 100-calorie whole wheat sandwich thins. As I approached, I noticed two workers stocking the aisle, probably blocking my sandwich thins. "Hi, how are you?" one said to me.
"Fine, how are you?"
"Aww, you teased us like you were gonna give us a smile, but then you didn't."
"Oh, sorry, I'm not in the best mood."
Then he approached me and said in a quiet, secretive voice, "Let me tell you something."
In my mind, I'm thinking, "Ohhh, crap, this guy's gonna hit on me, and it's gonna be awkward."
But what I experienced....was MUCH more awkward than I could have ever imagined.
He started off by saying things like, "You never know what the future holds. It ain't as bad as you think." But then it turned into some sort of weird prayer-like thing, some of which I couldn't even make sense of...at all. As he kept talking, the urge inside me to burst out laughing grew stronger and stronger. But this guy was giving me "advice" he thought was brilliant, so that would have been rude! So instead I just avoided eye contact the whole time, staring at the jars of peanut butter in front of my face instead. Finally, he stopped talking.
"Thank you," I said in my most solemn voice, grabbed a jar of peanut butter, and went along my way.
Before I approached the check-out, I set down the jar of peanut butter in a random place and thought, "Damn, I really wanted those sandwich thins."