Working Through It
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
I've been challenged lately to stick with my fitness program. My motivation has been non-existent, and that negative voice in my head is trying to undermine me. I'm working on pulling through, but it's been really, really tough.
This happens every time I get on a fitness program, by the way. I'll start off gangbusters, and then I just peter out. Then I start thinking about what a loser I am, how I can't do anything right, yada yada yada. And I regain the weight I lost. The end.
This time, though, something is different. Oh, I'm still struggling. I had chips and salsa and Oreo cookies for dinner last night. But each morning I'm waking up and still feeling as though I'm on my program. I still eat my same healthy breakfast and my same healthy lunch. When weather permits, I'm still going out and taking walks. And that voice? It's still fairly quiet.
It occurred to me as I fell into this familiar pattern of losing my motivation that I had a choice: I could let myself fail again or I could fight. I could stop following my program or I could try my best to muddle through. And it also occurred to me that if I can just get work through it this time and get to the other side, these challenging spells will never get the best of me again.
So I'm fighting with all my might to work through it. I haven't lost a pound in weeks; in fact, I've gained a couple. But I'm still fighting. And because I'm still fighting, I'm already a winner. My fight won't ever be over, but my opponent will never have the same strength over me. And (to continue this metaphor) the next time the fight won't be so hard, because I'll know that I've already beat it once. I'll never lose again.