Weight Loss.... never really enough?????

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

All throughout the surgery process I never REALLY made a final goal weight for myself. I never really thought I could get to what is considered to be a "normal" weight or BMI. I just figured I would get to where ever I could, and be happy with it. (In the beginning) All I ever really wanted was to get under the 200lb mark. When that happened back in December, I was happy...........but I realized it wasn't nearly enough! I still was not happy with what I saw (naked) in the mirror. So then I was kind of undecided as to how much more weight was good enough. So I thought about it, and the closer I closed in on my husband, the more I got to feeling that if I could just weigh less than him I would be happy. Now that I weigh less than him, I am feeling that it is not nearly enough. I am now within about 15 lbs of being at a normal weight and BMI for my height. So I have set a new goal. I would like to get to 155. Right now I am 170 so if I drop 15 more I will be at 155. However, I am still sitting here thinking that 15lbs is not that much. Will I really see a difference in the mirror after 15 more pounds? I really do not think so. So if I am able to drop 15 more pounds will I be happy? I do not think so. So will I ever feel like it is enough. I have come to realize that at this stage in the game it is not so much about the number on the scale as it is how I feel about my looks. When I look at someone (who has never been majorly over weight) who weighs what I weigh, I think they look great. I have even seen my pt. who weigh what I weigh and think wow she looks great. But, as long as I have all this baggy skin, I think I will never be happy with my "weight" (looks). The skin tricks my mind into believing that I weigh much more than I really do. I do not see 170 5'6.5 woman. I see a 5'6.5 240 pound woman, all due to the skin!!!!!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    WOW thank you guys all so much for the positive feed back! It is awesome to know that I am not alone in my feelings!
    3951 days ago
    I can relate, I too now just see alot of baggy skin. I always thought I would be just happy to see the weight off, but know I also see how it affects the way I look in my clothes. Not exactly like I thought. Know I'm trying every exercise to see if I can help myself before I choose the knife when its time. Good luck with whatever you choose
    3951 days ago
    Self image is a big problem for those of us who are or have been morbidly obese. What you describe is something I have heard so many times from so many post surgical people. We still see the fat person when we look at ourselves.

    I think only we can change that and I haven't a clue how, except to start positive talking ourselves everyday. Maybe if we start looking in the mirror and say something good about ourselves everyday we will start to believe it. I may give it a go, because I still see a pretty fat woman too. Allmy friends and family say stop now, you look great, you've lost 100 lbs. good for you. But at 178 I still have a BMI that is overweight. I want to get to 150-160 so I am not "overweight" any more. Will I see a happier person? Will I see a thin person? I don't know, I know I see all the baggy skin, but, I do realize that I look better with the baggy skin than I did with the 100 lbs of fat. Yeah, I think I will start giving myself the you look good daily treatment and see if I start seeing the new me in the mirror.

    emoticon emoticon
    3951 days ago
    Love your blog. I am not there yet but I believe that I do understand. I think because we were overweight for so long that it's hard to see ourselves thinner. The mind in playing a game on us and I am also sure that the skin is also in the way!!

    emoticon on your journey!!
    3951 days ago
  • JMAGEE8871
    First I have to say, you look fabulous. Our minds have a hard time catching up with our bodies after losing a lot of weight. Have you thought about talking to a counselor or someone about your feelings and what you might be able to do to help you see how beautiful you are.
    3951 days ago
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