Still learning: making space for success in my life
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Several years into this journey to a healthier me and I'm still learning. Today I really saw the importance of being gentle and compassionate with myself in my times of weakness and perceived failure. A few minutes of conscious self-compassion can make all the difference on how successful I will be for the rest of the day in all my life goals - from healthful eating to exercise to career and relationships.
To give you a picture, the last 10 days have been unusually hectic and busy for me; a show I've been rehearsing opened this past weekend and the week prior to opening night, in theater world is lovingly referred to as "Heck Week" (expletive removed to avoid offending anyone) for a reason.
Today was my first day without any external obligations, appointments or commitments. I have a list of to-do's that flows off the page, piles of laundry and clutter needing attentions, errands enough to fill a week and a ton of other backed up tasks to focus on, as well as prepping for a contest I was invited to join-- Best Busker in Rochester, with a 1st prize that would allow me to finally get a real, professional quality demo made. Ironically, it was also the ONLY day we're supposed to get sun or temperatures above 50 for the next week. sigh. So the pressure to 'get things done' weighed heavy on my head from the moment I lifted it off the pillow.
I felt well rested, I'd technically had enough sleep and I was in decent spirits. And yet almost from the get-go I noticed something odd; I was clutzy and uncoordinated. Not in anything major, just little things, like knocking something over and not having my normal reaction speed to catch it before it fell. And I was leaning a tad toward grumpy at external irritations. These things told me my body was NOT as rested as I wanted to believe or even as I thought I felt.
Now my old self- my pre- healthy living self would have gotten irritated and pushed harder. I would have demanded more of myself and I would have said some choice words to myself when I knocked that bowl of splenda on the floor. And my old self would have set an even tougher schedule for the day just to prove I wasn't a sissy or a weakling. However, my old self wasn't very happy.
And I thought, if this were my child or someone I loved and they were tired or not at their best, what would I do? Then I did that for me.
I stopped all my tedious cleaning tasks and I went out into the sunshine and tried a few other tasks on my to-do list until I found something that I could do today easily and successfully. Turns out that was strategy for the contest and planning. My mind was rested and full of ideas-- and it wanted to work. And I got a lot done, a lot of major realizations and focusing on how I can bring my strengths to the contest and compete where I'm strong, verses focusing on my weaknesses and becoming fearful of how I might not measure up.
And all this is very new for me, this learning to reframe things so that I have lots of room for success, for feeling competent and strong. And those little tasks I couldn't do well today, the good news-- they'll still be there tomorrow. And maybe tomorrow I'll be in a place mentally and physically where I'm ready to be successful at those instead. And they'll get done. And I'm okay with that.
I had a really good day. I feel good about myself and what I did do. And while yes, I wish I could have done more, crossed off more actual things on my to-do list and made that mountain a bit smaller, I'm finally learning that sometimes I just have to accept what I can do, do it to the best of my ability in the moment and let go of everything else. And that's okay. That's how I become successful. But more importantly, that's how I stay healthy and happy. And that's enough...it's more than enough.
So, how do you take care of you? What ways are you compassionate and gentle with you? Or how would you like to be?
Please let me know in the comments because hey, we're on this journey together and I keep learning from you, too! :)
Thanks as always for reading me.
Copyright©2010 Cassandra Kelly. All Rights Reserved.