JAYNELAYNE

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Negative Nancy

Monday, May 10, 2010

This blog is going to suck for you. I have a LOT to just get out and its not going to be in any kind of order. I'm sorry in advance =[

There is so much going on right now, I swear I can barely keep my head straight. I'm feeling...

defeated
angsty
hurt
bothered
on and on and on

I feel like I cant freaking catch a break.

Here is the last month in a short sweet recap...

Mad at the roommates
Kara got a job
Talked with the roommates
More issues with roommates
crazy work schedule
got part time jobs
quit part time jobs
tried running
trying to keep up on groceries
lkasjdglkajsgjaslkgja

I know that none of that really makes sense to anyone.

Things are going awry in my household. My roommates and the friends that stay on the weekend are soooo inconsiderate and lazy, I can't even stand it. They wont clean, pick up after themselves, buy their own groceries, and they broke our brand new water filter.

ugh.

On top of that the dogs keep eating OUR things. Two jackets, karas expensive sunglasses, and my phone charger. No offers to replace any of it. ugh.

Our groceries disappear. Stuff is expensive, ask first! ughhhh

Running le sucked. Our neighborhood isn't the greatest and there isn't any real place to run. The ground is soooo uneven my ankles were killllling me. Booooo

Cant use the elliptical because a friend is living in our basement and there isn't room for it. Cant move it anywhere else because there is no where else.

No privacy anymore, our weekends are crap

working in a coffee shop is NOT condusive to losing weight.

I cant seem to keep up on the groceries

or the laundry

or cleaning

or myself.

I feel so out of control right now. I can't stop eating crappy chocolate, I cant seem to get enough water, I JUST bought spinach and when we opened it, it was moldy PRIOR to the expiration date, not driving makes going to a gym hard, my moms pressuring us to move in with her

I want to scream

I feel like life is stacking against us. I just want to breath and get working out again.

On the bright side, I haven't gained any weight. So hooray! I've been trying to be good. I dont know what kind of miracle has allowed me to eat a TON of chocolate and still be 217. Awesome. Oh yea and allll the iced coffee I have at work. Thats the only thing really going my way.

Kara got a nice full time job, yay!! Its at my OLD job....it IS my old job, hahahha. Hopefully she likes it more than I did. Its also another issue.....I work downtown, we live riiiight outside downtown. My parents live about 15 minutes west of us and across the street from Karas new job. My mom(bless her little heart) already has to drive over here to take me to work downtown. Now she also has to take Kara to work because A)I dont drive and B)We dont have a car and C)The bus stop isnt close to our house. Now when I have to be to work at 6(kara goes in at 8 for now) kara has to get up with me and go to my moms for 2 hours before work. Its just too much driving for my mom. Today I worked 6-1, Kara 8-4:30 soooo my mom came and got us this morning, dropped me off, took kara to her house then to work at 8, then she came and got me at 1, and she has to bring kara home at 4:30. In light of alllll the driving, shes been talking about us just moving in.

Its rent free
In walking distance to Karas job
Free
Free
Free
Plus just more convenient for groceries and gyms and junk.
Oh and its free.

But....
my mother....is a hoarder.

Her house is full of soooo much stuff. Its not like the hoarding shows or anything, but there is definitely a lot of stuff. I cant stand to be surrounded by sooooo much STUFF. Not to mention since my step dad had a heart attack, plans to finish remodeling the house were put on hold. Soooo the house is disheveled. I dont know if moving in there would help or hurt my sanity.

I also toyed with the idea of going BACK to goodwill. WTF is wrong with me.

If we moved in with my parents it would just be sooooo convenient. But a desk job again? idk. I DONT KNOW.

Im freaking feuding with myself

its tearing my mind apart and my moods are all over the place.

I have NO idea what to do. We are both at a complete loss. We are starting to be really unhappy here.

ugh.

I DONT want to move, then have to move AGAIN.

I hate moving.

I'm hating life right now.

I cant seem to snap out of it and I'm freaking tired of it.

I also want to get back to school and get a degree in something I want to do.

But what do I want to do? I have NO freaking IDEA.

I think my teenage years were easier than this

/end rant

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • JAYNELAYNE
    you guys are the best *hugs*
    3823 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1276095
    So much on your plate right now emoticon Moving in with your mom seems like it would add more stress. Maybe a compromise - can you find a place closer to her? I know you don't want to move, but the roommates sound toxic for your mental health. Good luck with what ever you decide to do. And know that when ever you need to vent - please feel free!
    3824 days ago
  • SCRAPPYLADYV
    Wow, you have a lot going on right now. I hope you are able to take a few deep breaths and find some time to make some decisions/changes that will bring you some peace. No one needs all of that drama in their life, and you deserve better!!
    emoticon
    3825 days ago
  • KELLYERIN
    I am sorry things are so bad right now! Please know that this is only momentary. Hang in there!

    emoticon
    3825 days ago
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