My Mom just doesn't get it
Thursday, May 06, 2010
Today on my walk I spent time thinking about my relationship with my mother. I didn't exactly get much worked out in my head this morning. I need some where for these feelings to go so that I don't stuff them down with food today.
We have been shopping for a van (among other items on my "frustrating shopping list", but that is another story for another time.). Last Friday we were all ready to go sign the papers to buy a van. I called the salesperson to see if they had everything ready. I asked her a simple question about something she was telling me that was in conflict with what the bank was telling me. She launched into a big lecture at me about how lending works that included (and this is a quote) "You are a stay at home mom and that is fine or whatever, but you don't work. You have no money."
Okay, so, I found that rather offensive. (Well, A LOT offensive and that too may be another story for another time.) But, the point of this blog (yes I am getting to it finally) is that I told my mom this story yesterday and I get to the part where the salesperson says "You have no money" and she (mom) says "Well, Justin (my husband) has money." I really cannot believe that is how she responded. I would say that my mother and I have a "delicate" relationshipe at best. She refuses to get to know me as an adult. It makes me sad that she doesn't know the woman I have become. I just don't understand it. I am really enjoying my children, but I look forward to getting to know them as adults as well. Anytime I try to approach her about anything that might be bothering me she brushes it off as me being stressed out and needing to release some steam or me just being hormonal because I am pregnant or whatever. She NEVER takes any responsibility for what she does or says. It is so frustrating! Recently I have resigned myself to just having a "surface" relationship with her. I just don't trust her with any of my deeper feelings.